What is it that you need answers about

No. I have tried the same and rather than closure, I have more confusion and pain. He will only tell you whatever he needs to in order to save face. Just happened to me last night and I knew she was lying. Rather than argue, I just took the information for what it was ...a bold faced lie.

You'll never get the answers you want. Actions speak louder than words. And sometimes knowing doesn't make anything better, if you even get the truth. Because then if he lies, you'll later find out it was a lie and you'll be mad/hurt all over again.

There is no conversation my ex and i could
Have that would be productive. He will just
Spin the blame back onto me no matter what
I said.

He will not accept any blame or accountability
for his actions and Behaviors they were justified
in his mind. HUGS

I wanted some answers from my ex-wife too. She hated me for years even though I always showed her respect and tried to be civil with her. When she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I asked to be able to talk to her one on one. I needed some answers to questions that had haunted me for almost 40 yrs. I never got that audience with her because she refused. She died of cancer in Jan. of 2014. If you can get the answers you want, I applaud you and I hope you do.

Old biker, thats awful i just dont expect
Anything from my ex. We said all there
Was to say. Its more sad than anything
else. HUGS

tynee511 - My questions would be...Why would he pursue a serious relationship with me just to tell me it wasn't serious at the end? When he was breaking up with me, he even admitted that he knew what he was doing and did it on purpose. When he was telling me it at the time, I was so distraught so I couldn't even gather my thoughts. Now that I have my thoughts together I want to know why he would do that. What was the point? Like what was his motive? Why waste my time, his family's time, my family's time, etc...?

To everyone else - Now I'm leaning more towards the side of not contacting him because it will probably just hurt me more. I can't handle any more heartbreak or I think I will completely lose it. It just sucks because I'll never be able to know why...:(

No don't even bother asking an ex questions like this or look for closure because they're in a different space mentally and they'll just gaslight you or blame shift or just flat out lie… And really it just doesn't matter anymore. Much better to stay no contact !!

I have tried also and it just leads to more questions or could leave you feeling more hurt. The best thing to do is stay no contact (something I am struggling with). It will give you time to heal and eventually you may not even care.

Opening myself up to him has never been a good thing. It just gave him one more chance to sucker punch me. I always left kicking myself because I knew better.