Rman, a counselor can help you see your various options.

Maybe you should take some mental health days (or nights) And do just that - take your kids to Chucky Cheese. Just you and the kids.

Let her stay home and squawk to herself. And maybe she'll get so pissed she'll start the divorce going and you can both move on and maybe have a chance at a little happiness in your life.

And while you're at it, tell her you are quitting your night job and she has to go out and get one. And you stay home with the kids in the evenings. There is nothing wrong with that. We did it like that for years.
Put on your big boy pants and tell her the new game plan. She's going to bitch at you no matter what you do, so make it worth your while.

Agreeing with TD. Some people shouldn't have credit cards.

I really think you'd do better getting a divorce filing for bankrupcy and actually seeing your kids every other weekend and one night a week.

Allergic reaction here...

Who's to say Rman won't have primary custody and his wife won't be the one to only see the kids everyother weekend and one night a week?? Just sayin....

I like FD's response

RMAN - we all go round and round with you on this.

Please do something before it is too late. What you are taking for granted? Your ability to stay healthy at this pace. What if you were to fall over from a heart attack? Would it be worth it?

Sorry. Friday, you're absolutely right.

I guess all I was trying to say, is that every other weekend would be More than he's seeing them now.

Hey, I'm all for stay-at-home moms (OR dads)...I was one. But I didn't run us into dept. And my ex didn't have to work two jobs for us to make ends meet. (Even right after we got the new house, got hit with major medical bills from our daughter's birth, AND was getting fuloughed to the extent that his salary decreased by more than a quarter.

That year I did Christmas for under $300, and most of that was clothes for my ex's work. The kids and I.....were about $50. (Yard sales are Wonderful! I filled stockings and everything.)

patti - No worries...like I said I just got an allergic reaction based on my own experience. I knew what you meant though and I couldn't agree more.

I have a few friends who's wives are stay-at-home moms. Their husbands work only one job but they do work long hours as a result of it. I remember hearing one of the wives say her job is to take care of the kids AND stretch every dollar. Always looking for deals and coupons and ways to save. It is a team effort for sure.

I hope you can eventually slow down. My parents divorced when I was 12. All I remember about my dad was him walking out the door with his briefcase going to work, all the time. My everyday boring moments where with my mom and sisters. It's the boring stuff that I seem to remember the most.

I'm lucky in that my kids are grown. So I can work all I want. I need the money, but I need the distraction even more. Work don't Think. My new mantra. Can you text your kids? Funny little things to let them know your thinking of them.

Agree, marriage was the biggest mistake of my life too. Because of health issues looking at alimony and no money to be able to live my life for a while. I may need a 2 job not due to debt but ongoing maintenance of spouse.
Bankruptcy may be a good option for you.

Marriage was a mistake to me, as well....motherhood was not. Rman, you need to get her to get a job, why is she spending your coin and you don't get to reap the benefits. Right now you need to put your checks into a different account and YOU start paying the bills yourself and leave her with just enough to cover what she needs....groceries, stuff for kids, etc. She has free reign of the accounts and it's not working for you. Tell her to get a job or you will be dead by 50.

Here is one thing I don't understand: she has been making your life miserable for quite some time. Yet, she is the one pulling the pennies out of the bank and you probably don't even know where it is going. Working your life away will not help you, her or the kids because one day you will turn the table and stop.

There is a high possibility that she sees you walking into the house ready to hand you a "honey do" list with no down time for the tired man that you became. Where do you think this will lead you?