I'm so sorry Tabatha.. I don't know your story, but I walked a similar path. I supported my exh through school, moved away from my family to be with him when he was offered an amazing job opportunity, and we had just bought our first home together, when I found him cheating on me. It was a slap to the face - a 'well I don't need you anymore, I'm all good now, I've taken you for as much as I can.. now to find someone new' well you know what?? FUCK HIM - I'm serious, its horrible to feel like you've been tossed out like the garbage, you deserve a man who loves, respects, and supports you as much as you do him. Not someone who takes, takes, takes, and never thinks twice about you. I was with my exh for 14 years.. and I was terrified like you. First thing you need to do is get your finances straight - and talk with a lawyer! Most lawyers will give you free consultations. When you've been with someone for as long as you have, you have rights. I don't know where you live, but you need to know your rights. My husband brought in 90% of our joint income when I left him. He was legally obligated to pay me alimony to support 'the lifestyle I was accustomed too' when we were together - I remember when we were splitting up, he said 'you can moved out, I'll keep the house - I can afford it' SOO arrogant! Well, its 2 years later now.. and he's barely making ends meet, and I'm getting my check directly out of his pay check every month - HE OWES YOU! Please talk to a lawyer, and find out what your rights are ASAP. The less you say to your ex, the better off you'll be at this point. He's NOT thinking of your best interests, he's only thinking of himself.. please be kind to yourself, and know this pain truly is temporary.. try to keep your eyes on the future, and make sure your financial needs are being met. He has an obligation to you, whether he wants to acknowledge that or not it doesn't matter - do some research, knowledge is power.

I also feel terrified of my future... Hope you find some comfort and support here.
HUGS

I'm going to do just that ... get a lawyer and find out what my rights are... because now that I have put my life on hold so he could better what was to be our future I'm almost 50 with no way to afford the life I've been living for the past 20 years... I live in Wisconsin so hopefully the laws here will protect me ... and I am really glad I joined this site
I don't feel so alone right now

Most of the old sayings prove out here. But it is up to oneself to open up to new possibilities.
When one door closes another opens. But if we are not available for what is next we cannot receive the blessings that await us.
I spent the best part of two years in mourning my ex. It should have been six months. What a waste of my time. All I have to do is look at her life now and know she was not the one.
I have sense had some of the most exciting and exhilarating experiences I could have never believed possible.
But it was only after I pulled up my big boy pants and opened up to it.
I hope that you will not waste to much time in mourning and get out there and live.
God Bless.

It's difficult to move on in life when you've loved someone and shared a partnership with them for the past 20 years. The pain can seem unbearable at times, having been through a divorce myself.

Many years after my divorce, I discovered that I was actually mourning the death of my marriage and going through the grieving process. Grieving the death of a marriage is no different than grieving the death of a loved one, a pet, an injury, a dream, etc. The loss may be different but it doesn't change the fact that it still hurts. Living with Healthy Grieving, helped me to understand that grieving is healthy and is a natural process we go through when we experience loss. Grieving helps us to heal.

For me, my healing began when I turned to a higher power for help. I knew I couldn't get through the divorce alone. My faith is what got me through the pain, healed me, and helped me to move forward in my life. I am who I am today because of what I learned from my past relationship with my wasband and how I grew as a result of having gone through the experience.

You are not alone Tabatha. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Blessings to you and your healing process.

I was with him 27 years - half my life, it has been 18 months now, I thought I had a wonderful safe happy marriage, he has told his family he was unhappy for years and I was a control freak - what a lucky man that a rich bitch slapper walked into his life and freed him - his bank statements showed he is gambling £3k per month and spending £2-300 a month on Viagra - don't think the grass is always greener, he has only met her twice when I threw him out - it has nearly killed me and I still suffer. He has lost his home, his daughter = she refuses to see him, his dignity and I don't think he gives a shit about any of it. His own sister told me = you were the only one that made him decent = I am worth better than him and I have proved it by keeping a home for our children - why is it always so hard to be the better person? because I have to show my daughters you don't take crap from anyone whatever the cost

Human nature can be so cruel. We always ask "why"and "how". Its because evil lurks in our world. Emotional instability and desire to fulfill one's self is a cause of great grief. Pure selfishness. It doesn't make things easier at the present, but I tend to look to the future for relief. By future I mean life after we leave our human body. Unless you prepare for that now, that may not be a better life but a worse one.