I am sorry. Breakup are always painful and it truly takes time. The move stress would be overwhelming though. Why does she want divorce and you gone so fast? You guys are married so really she can't just push you out overnight. I understand the awkwardNess of wanting to move right away as untill i got my own place i lived it. But with breakups things take time.

I would go to therapy to talk it all out and join a divorce
group for the grieving and divorce Process. None of this
is easy to cope with, add in trying to deal with your mother
and moving once again.

Legally i have no idea what you qualify for every State
is a little different and yours was short term marriage.
Many of us that were in a long term marriages its 50-50
plus maybe some alimony, many states are now no fault.
I would check in with a lawyer to find out what you are
Entitled to legally before you leave Florida.

If your spouse was checked out and emotionally disconnected
From you and the marriage its nothing unusual to end up getting
divorced. Dysfunctional families do not help the situation. I go to
Alanon myself to help me with those very issues.

The grief you are feeling is intense at this point and hard to move
Thru. I would stay in florida until you figure things out legally. Be
Gentle and kind to yourself as you move thru this, HUGS

So sorry to hear what you're going through! My loving wife of eight years with a total of 12 Years together broke the news to me a week and a half before Easter and I was completely devastated. Of course I'm still but functioning much better and eating again. This news was broken to me after taking trips in March and acting like a normal married couple and actually talking about future plans. Turns out she reconnected with a guy she dated 26 years ago and that did it. Try your very best to be strong and do not beg her or try to make it better because it will just push her further away. I would suggest trying to take care of yourself and talking to his many friends and family for support. It definitely helps. Unfortunately this is so common and we never think it will happen to us and here we are on this forum pouring our hearts out. My wife has turned around and tried to blame me for everything from what I didn't do and did and maybe the same goes for your case. I think it's a complete cop-out and as I told my wife, " you never once asked me my needs in our marriage." Of course when they're in this Frame of Mind they only care about themselves and are going to turn it around to make themselves feel better. They so often find out that the grass is not greener on the other side and a very great marriage has been destroyed. That goes for men leaving their wives too. Hang in there and know that you will be better. I know right now it's easier said than done and I struggle everyday. And I don't always believe that these wives have been emotionally checked out for a long time. They might be depressed or feeling low self confidence and all it takes is some guy to come along and start feeding their ego and telling them how special they are. That's what this asshole who moved in on my wife did and she's so gullible and weak-minded she bought into it. Now she says"he never forgot about me" like some kind of a high school kid. So easily manipulated some people can be. Again I'm sorry what you're going through and know that we are all the same boat.

You will make it. Try to see the positive side. You will have a fresh start. Colorado is a nice place and you will have your mom with you for emotional support. Your life is a do over. Try to think of the road not taken and enjoy the freedom to go down those paths.

I left after 19 years with $500.00 cash, 3 kids (2 of them in daycare that was $250.00 per week) and all the bills to a small crappy apartment. Once I was settled I was so happy I would have done it over and over again. You will find friends and a support group just be careful you don't crawl inside yourself and shut those people out.

Good luck. You will be ok.

Sorry you are going through this. We were together for 22 years before we split. Her affairs and personality disorders too much to handle. I was left with nothing. I felt the same as you. 41 years old and I had to move back to my mom and dads. I had no money, was living out of a suit case and felt very much like the loser that she always said I was.

Fast forward 6 1/2 months later, I am better. Family is all I have. I had to learn to accept their generosity and kindness without feeling like a sponge. I lived at mom and dads for 3 months, they really helped me get back on my feet again. With the help of my brother, I was able to get a 2 bedroom apartment. He owns the building. He is discounting my rent, something I didn't want him to do but he won't take anymore. He says he's just trying to help me out.

People have been very kind. The only new purchase I've made was a mattress. Everything else has been given to me or bought used. I am rebuilding my life from scratch.

So, do not feel bad. You have to rebuild your life now. All those feelings you have, I've had them. In time they will go away. I went to therapy and joined a divorce group which I highly recommend. They helped me see a lot clearer. Helped me get out of that rut. Exercise helps with the stress and meditation helps you to relax.
You will get better, you just need to work at it. Good luck in your journey. Unfortunately it is a long and painful one but we can get through it.

CM71 that's so true, that's what my ex did to make himself feel better too, blamed me for all his problems and changed it around on me.
Charlee1 I'm sorry for the pain ur going thru, like everyone tells me, be strong, things will get better. Hugs

I'm sorry. I don't have any advice, I'm just sorry.

I feel your pain, my ex left me 9 years ago on Christmas day she walked out leaving my 6 year old with me. Be strong, see a lawyer, move out when you are ready. Everything is meant to be so be positive and if you do get divorced be sure to take at least a year off of dating. Take the time to find out who you are and who you used to be because so many of us change for the other person that you marry. Many others are in the same boat...what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

suggestions - seek counselling, get out and explore new things, read and educate yourself on how to cope and move forward, exercise, accept that your relationship struggles are not all on you, focus on your career, start a new or old hobby, reconnect with friends or make new ones - their are meet up groups all over the place that are free, find support groups or networks, accept that the past is the past but that you own the future. if need be, force yourself to do things - anything, as sitting around will consume you with negativity. and lastly change for you, and no one else. You are not alone!!

side note: did you know that when reading that you cannot do anything but concentrate on reading. Its a great way to learn/cope/grow and yet it gets your mind off things

I want to thank you all so much for your kindness. It helps just knowing there are others out there that might have or may be going through the same thing as I.
My wife sent in paperwork and retainer money for the divorce yesterday. We are going uncontested. Making decent money in the military gave her the illusion that she could buy and spend at whim. Unfortunately this meant credit. She could afford the payments, so why not. And whenever I tried to put a stop to anything, it would be a fight so I let her do as she wanted.
Unfortunately, I am paying a price for this. She's keeping all of the goods, but with the bills to match, and I'm left without even a vehicle. She made sure everything was in her name.
Money aside, it's my heart that's suffering. She wants me out of the house. Now. She has packed up some of my belongings for me and put them in the garage to be picked up by movers. When we're around each other she acts like its just another sunny day in Florida.
I have a moving company coming out today to give my mom a quote, she's anxiously awaiting the news of when they'll be coming.
I don't understand how after 11 years, which were good years, normal years, happy years, that someone can just throw another person away. Throw away their constant, their best friend, their history. How can this happen?
Her mother bought the house that we are living in here in Florida. In January, I had to stand up to her mother and I became the enemy. I KNOW, even though my wife denies it, that her family has pulled her away from the marriage. She would constantly go over to hang out with her family knowing that I was not welcome there.
Her mom has told her that she wants me out of this house now. And the thing that really sucks is that I was always kind and loving to her mom. I always treated her with respect. I took her mental abuse and tried to act like Christ, forgiving her and just taking it. After I finally stood up to her, 4 months later I'm facing divorce.
I could NEVER do this to my wife. I love her so much, even still. Even though she has turned her heart against me. She claims that she had an "epiphany", and that she's tired of us going through the same patterns in our relationship through the years. That "things" are never going to change. And I'm sitting here like, what are you talking about? We had a good life.
I feel so sick. I am lost. I am mentally and physically drained. And now I have the added stress of moving my mom and I back to Colorado and I have to somehow start a new life?
I have read all of your responses. Thank you so much. I will be looking for a divorce support group as soon as I get to CO. I will be reading, I will find a counselor. I don't want to die, but God, I feel like I sure wouldn't care if it happened.
I appreciate you all very much. Thank you for being my support.

Hey, you have RIGHTS.

That's your legal place of residence.
.
Get yourself a lawyer because honestly you shouldn't be left high and dry.

Lord, I hate when I read things like this

Tell her you're heartbroken and devastated and all that good stuff but your not trash to be disposed of at whim.

There are LAWS against this

I met with an attorney on Monday. Unfortunately, because of my wife's debt and lack of savings, even I was advised to take $3k and not fight for any more should I end up with half the debt.

I hope you are protecting yourself from her
Financially, always self protect especially with
that type Of personality.

We had debt, he had to get my name off the
mtg. He got his own credit card. He Took my
Name off the business account.

There are so many steps to dismantle a marriage.
Utilities, cell phones, banking. Mail.

I hope you have that lawyer watching out for your
butt. One woman i know, her ex took out a credit
Card in her name and ran up 8K in debt. HUGS

I am very sorry, divorce is never an easy thing and couple that with trying to move multiple states away with a sick mother and you are definitely in hard times. You can do this though, you have made it this far and can continue to move forward. I would try some divorce care counseling to help you work through everything that is going on. I will be praying for you and your mother as you make tis hard journey back to Colorado.