I'm new here and need support.
My wife threw me out in July, no reason just said we fight way too much and she need time and space, i didn't want to do it, but honored her request, we have been together 23 years, have three kids, 18,12,10 she stopped talking to me right away, which made it hard I would call text ect... i moved into a rooming house where I paid 1200.00 a month for a room with a bed, i had to share the shower and (gross kitchen) so I never ate there. while there i paid the mortgage on the house for the first two months and then told her i can't do it anymore, she works full time and makes good money, but as the man i always supported my family and paid all the house bills, over 4300.00 a month. worked two jobs etc...
I also did 90 percent of the running around to dr. dentist app, kids sports etc, she did Saturday's only as I had to work.
plus I did 90 percent of the food shopping, cooking,. very hands on type of guy.the first two months were hard cause I could not have kids over the rooming house, so we would go out a few hours of a sunday, got very $$ with dinning out, activites etc...
so I talked to my wife and said I want to come home , she said no. i said I can't live like this with the kids not seeing them is killing me,,
so all the places I looked at wanted a 1 year lease, i bit the bullet and move into one, had to for the sake of seeing my kids, so they have been sleeping over every weekend since, since i have joined facebook, and have seen a lot of old friends and seeing a lot of what my wife has been posting on comments, and updated profile pics, she has a privite account but you can still still things, well in short all her profile pics are sexy ones of her and a ton on "friends" male, like them and it's driving me crazy, people tell me don't look but i can't help it... i crushes me to see some strange guy telling my wife that she's so hot, or wow you know what your doing......
i got served my divorce papers Friday and have not been able to do a thing, i'm so upset, i cry daily, I can't function at all....
i started therphy last week, but it's not enough... i'm so lost,,, my poor kids, i'm there life......
i'v been giving her 2000.00 a month and she says it's not enough.
it hurts so bad, like someone cut out my heart and stomped on it, i don't know what to do, i have though about taking my life, but can't handle the pressure of leaving the kids to deal with it.
been drinking more and more everyday...
i don't know what to do with myself, i have been looking for support groups in the area but nothing, I have a good family that support me, all I hear oh your strong, it will get better.... it's not....... it's getting worse and I can't handle the pressure...my mind is racing like crazy, wakes me up in the middle of the night,,,
thinking is there someone else sleeping with her, that would kill me i would loose it.......
am I alone feeling this way? is it normal i miss my kids so much,
I have 20 days to anwser the divorce papers,,, she wants the house, full custody of the kids, more money and her last name to be changed.
I was nothing but good to this women, I never went out afterwork, never cheated on her, always there for her and the kids, always, i don't understand how anyone can be so heartless after 23 years together...
please help me get through this madness...