Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm new here and need support.
My wife threw me out in July, no reason just said we fight way too much and she need time and space, i didn't want to do it, but honored her request, we have been together 23 years, have three kids, 18,12,10 she stopped talking to me right away, which made it hard I would call text ect... i moved into a rooming house where I paid 1200.00 a month for a room with a bed, i had to share the shower and (gross kitchen) so I never ate there. while there i paid the mortgage on the house for the first two months and then told her i can't do it anymore, she works full time and makes good money, but as the man i always supported my family and paid all the house bills, over 4300.00 a month. worked two jobs etc...
I also did 90 percent of the running around to dr. dentist app, kids sports etc, she did Saturday's only as I had to work.
plus I did 90 percent of the food shopping, cooking,. very hands on type of guy.the first two months were hard cause I could not have kids over the rooming house, so we would go out a few hours of a sunday, got very $$ with dinning out, activites etc...
so I talked to my wife and said I want to come home , she said no. i said I can't live like this with the kids not seeing them is killing me,,
so all the places I looked at wanted a 1 year lease, i bit the bullet and move into one, had to for the sake of seeing my kids, so they have been sleeping over every weekend since, since i have joined facebook, and have seen a lot of old friends and seeing a lot of what my wife has been posting on comments, and updated profile pics, she has a privite account but you can still still things, well in short all her profile pics are sexy ones of her and a ton on "friends" male, like them and it's driving me crazy, people tell me don't look but i can't help it... i crushes me to see some strange guy telling my wife that she's so hot, or wow you know what your doing......
i got served my divorce papers Friday and have not been able to do a thing, i'm so upset, i cry daily, I can't function at all....
i started therphy last week, but it's not enough... i'm so lost,,, my poor kids, i'm there life......
i'v been giving her 2000.00 a month and she says it's not enough.
it hurts so bad, like someone cut out my heart and stomped on it, i don't know what to do, i have though about taking my life, but can't handle the pressure of leaving the kids to deal with it.
been drinking more and more everyday...
i don't know what to do with myself, i have been looking for support groups in the area but nothing, I have a good family that support me, all I hear oh your strong, it will get better.... it's not....... it's getting worse and I can't handle the pressure...my mind is racing like crazy, wakes me up in the middle of the night,,,
thinking is there someone else sleeping with her, that would kill me i would loose it.......
am I alone feeling this way? is it normal i miss my kids so much,
I have 20 days to anwser the divorce papers,,, she wants the house, full custody of the kids, more money and her last name to be changed.
I was nothing but good to this women, I never went out afterwork, never cheated on her, always there for her and the kids, always, i don't understand how anyone can be so heartless after 23 years together...
please help me get through this madness...
My wife threw me out in July, no reason just said we fight way too much and she need time and space, i didn't want to do it, but honored her request, we have been together 23 years, have three kids, 18,12,10 she stopped talking to me right away, which made it hard I would call text ect... i moved into a rooming house where I paid 1200.00 a month for a room with a bed, i had to share the shower and (gross kitchen) so I never ate there. while there i paid the mortgage on the house for the first two months and then told her i can't do it anymore, she works full time and makes good money, but as the man i always supported my family and paid all the house bills, over 4300.00 a month. worked two jobs etc...
I also did 90 percent of the running around to dr. dentist app, kids sports etc, she did Saturday's only as I had to work.
plus I did 90 percent of the food shopping, cooking,. very hands on type of guy.the first two months were hard cause I could not have kids over the rooming house, so we would go out a few hours of a sunday, got very $$ with dinning out, activites etc...
so I talked to my wife and said I want to come home , she said no. i said I can't live like this with the kids not seeing them is killing me,,
so all the places I looked at wanted a 1 year lease, i bit the bullet and move into one, had to for the sake of seeing my kids, so they have been sleeping over every weekend since, since i have joined facebook, and have seen a lot of old friends and seeing a lot of what my wife has been posting on comments, and updated profile pics, she has a privite account but you can still still things, well in short all her profile pics are sexy ones of her and a ton on "friends" male, like them and it's driving me crazy, people tell me don't look but i can't help it... i crushes me to see some strange guy telling my wife that she's so hot, or wow you know what your doing......
i got served my divorce papers Friday and have not been able to do a thing, i'm so upset, i cry daily, I can't function at all....
i started therphy last week, but it's not enough... i'm so lost,,, my poor kids, i'm there life......
i'v been giving her 2000.00 a month and she says it's not enough.
it hurts so bad, like someone cut out my heart and stomped on it, i don't know what to do, i have though about taking my life, but can't handle the pressure of leaving the kids to deal with it.
been drinking more and more everyday...
i don't know what to do with myself, i have been looking for support groups in the area but nothing, I have a good family that support me, all I hear oh your strong, it will get better.... it's not....... it's getting worse and I can't handle the pressure...my mind is racing like crazy, wakes me up in the middle of the night,,,
thinking is there someone else sleeping with her, that would kill me i would loose it.......
am I alone feeling this way? is it normal i miss my kids so much,
I have 20 days to anwser the divorce papers,,, she wants the house, full custody of the kids, more money and her last name to be changed.
I was nothing but good to this women, I never went out afterwork, never cheated on her, always there for her and the kids, always, i don't understand how anyone can be so heartless after 23 years together...
please help me get through this madness...
The bad? Stop drinking every day and get the hell off of Facebook. You can't be the best possible man/father you can be if you're drinking away your problems. There are other ways to cope, like the therapy, journaling, talking, and taking positive steps to insure YOU are financially stable.
See an attorney. 2000.00 seems really, really high...esp if you have your kids every other weekend.
Sending you strength....and please keep posting.
See a lawyer asap. They will advise you as to your rights and what realistically will happen. Your wife can ask for full custody, but that doesn't mean she will get full custody. Don't agree to any demands until you speak to a lawyer.
See you therapist, and post on DS often. It did wonders for me during the first few weeks. I've only been separated for about two months and when I feel like I can't cope anymore, I write a little and it helps so much.
Thinking of you.
I always told her she was pretty person, but she always thought I wanted something, but I didn't i was just madly in love with her for our whole marriage, now she want to hear it from others.....
i had a rough day today, use a lot of tissues ,but took steps in the right direction by coming here, I reached out to a group 40 minutes away called Divorce care.org, the have meeting every monday for 2 hours, I sent them a request to join even though it's a few weeks into there program, I hope they get back to me and say I can come Monday., my two Daughters have dance Monday nights, so I planned on going to watch, since stbx just drops them off, them my older ones texts me and says there not going cause she has a physical, So me being the nice guy, said oh well tell mom i'll take your sister so she does not have to sit at the dr. office, she did, and she said no she's not going...... the she took her phone and started going through my daughter and mine conversation , so my poor daughter got in trouble cause of me....
i guess once we go to court i'll have days promised to see them she's been ok so far, I take them to sleep over ever weekend, and she goes out, thats the only reason... so she can go out....
tomorrow is a work day, meeting a new lawyer and see my therapist, hope its enough to get me through the week.. don't see kids until thursday.. can't wait
I have such a migraine........
thanks for the support
If you have common friends; either block them too or "don't follow" them in case they will have stuff posted about your wife. Restricted access of your own page will help later once you've healed and started moving on with your own life.
Since you have minor children, limit your contact with your wife to only talking about them or financial doings. You can set up a calendar on google calendars to arrange drop offs/pick ups/dance recitals etc. You can both share the calendar.
Definitely see your lawyer and find out what your rights are!
Divorce is an endurance sport that you will need energy for and drinking alcohol takes away that energy. It doesn't get rid of the problem; it just makes you more hungover when you have to deal with it tomorrow. Get some exercise, sleep and good nutrition. The exercise can help alleviate stress and unfortunately most divorces come with stress. You can mitigate some of it by little contact as possible, exercise and sleep.
Don't try to figure out what's happened with your wife. She has obviously decided what she wants to do and we can't control what other people do or how they act. We can only control how we react to it. Start the healing; face and feel the emotions that come with it instead of numbing it with alcohol. It won't be easy and it will take some time but you will get to the other side.
I was married for 27 years and divorced this past January because my ex had an affair with a coworker. I tried staying with him to work it out but it meant me doing all the work. I got sick of it and asked for a divorce and I went no contact (our kids are adults) ever since. It's not easy but we've all been through it.
thevarmps.tumblr.com
missed my appointment with the lawyer due to work, had to postpone until Thursday...
my mind raced all day, even in meetings I can't think straight. I need to get focused, I just cannot believe this is happening, it's surreal, like a bad dream, my life of 23 years is gone..... two people came to me at work to ask how i'm doing, (you can tell i'm not right) i started to talk and had to walk away just about in tears,,,,,, this is the hardest thing in the world, got an email about a guy in work had a heart attack (he's ok but out for a few weeks)
i was like why couldn't that be me......with the worst results though.... i struggle everyday....... my therapist said i'm working too much ( i do two jobs) that I need to stop... i can't afford to stop. i hate doing to the second job, i'm beat everyday i'm so tired I just want to stay in bed.....
I am waiting for better days.....
1. if she felt like talking before court
2,how my daughter physical went, no reply,
3,I then asked to call me about my son, cause I have a form to fill out about him for school, and he gave it to me not here, just stuff about him for the yearbook something parents should do together.
then I had to send one more say i'll do it myself., i know I shouldn't text her at all, but I miss her so much and don't understand why she is ruining our lives.........
it's surreal, i can't believe this is happening,, i'm a zombie...........
she also said mom was really surprised that I got on fb, later that even she heard her mom crying, which is really sad, but at the same time made me feel good that i'm not the only one sheding tears over this.. had both daughters tonight for dinner, my son didn't want to come, but it was fun, we shared some laughs....
seen a new lawyer today, didn't like him, told me I would never win joint custody, that the laws favor the moms.. cause I have no proof that she's an unfit mother, I said i didn't say unfit, she's more than fit she's just not as invloved as I am..... big difference there....
he still said it would cost a lot of money and we would not win....
so he's fired before he's even hired......
at least the first guy gave me hope, going from waking up my kids every day, seeing them get ready for school, helping with homework, tucking them in at night, to seeing them one night a week for dinner and every other weekend is not an option for me, sorry, i want to fight with all I have if it takes every penny so be it....
the lawyer told me they'll fight harder cause if I get awarded joint custody the child support payment goes down and she will not be able to afford the house....
that's not my problem, my kids are.....
still miss my stbx, think about her a million times a day............
i'm suppose to be doing my check book, but snuck on face book, and her profile pop up, she changed her profile pic, to one of our daughters so I had to look, 40 minutes ago,,,, boom 4 likes, of course i looked,,,of course the guy i think something is going on with likes it.....flipping first one!
this really sucks,,,,,,, i'm so upset again.... unreal....