Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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tailspin916 05/01/2015

Hello All,

I haven't been on this site for some time, as it has been a strange few weeks. Well, as she said, she will move out before the first of the month. She officially moved out last night with her girls. It was a very strange feeling being alone in an empty 5 bedroom house and waking up this morning to complete silence.

The house used to be very active until about 10PM, as the girls would usually still be up, finishing homework, watching TV or just simply telling stories of their day in school and all the drama of being in grade school and high school. Mornings would be hectic, making breakfast, brewing coffee, getting ready for work and getting the kids ready for school. This morning, just like last night...complete silence. Just me and my Great Dane. Even the dog seems confused with the complete lack of activity.

I'm not sure how I feel. To be honest, I thought I'd either be very happy she's gone and I can start to heal, or very sad that the family I once had is no more. I think the correct term would be "numb," as I feel neither happy or sad... I don't feel anything, really. I'm sure in a day or so when it sinks in, I will probably feel the real pain of the demise of our marriage and family. Until then, I guess I will just have to try to enjoy the silence.

murphytoronto 05/02/2015

Hugs to you all in this devastating change

I am still trying to make sense of my weird new life...not married for 20 years any more

18 months later life is good.....
I still cry at times and feel confused

But have good hopes of a great future now

Just not the one I was signed up for

The transition is a long process

murphytoronto 05/02/2015

I meant not being a married for 20 years couple any more

tailspin916 05/06/2015

Tomorrow is her birthday and the 1 week mark of her moving out. The house is feeling bigger, emptier, quieter and sadder each day. Surprisingly, I'm not in bad a shape as I thought I would be. Perhaps the finality/reality of it hasn't sunk in yet, or perhaps I'm a lot stronger than I thought. Who knows?

I am devastated, no doubt, but not destroyed. I expect tougher times are ahead and I will have to dig deep for more inner strength.

I try to keep myself busy, but am starting to run out of things to do. It is when I lie in my bed alone is when things get really tough. No "good nights" to anyone other than my dog, who seems just as sad as I am about the sudden lack of activity in the house.

sja 05/06/2015

Keep busy, and keep looking at how far you have come. You have made strides. Your in my thoughts.

yougospam 05/06/2015

My situation is different because my ex left in the middle of the night and never came back. I still have kids at home (with my first ex) so I never have any alone time which has been good I think. I'm a bit worried for the day they do leave the nest and I find myself alone. I do know I'll take long bubble baths (its a girl thing :O) and will always have music on, It's been years since I've had a quiet house and although that sounds good to me, I think it will be hard to get used to.
Numb is exactly the right term for how you feel. Each day you'll get a little bit better, a little bit happier, a little bit stronger and one day you'll be able to get your life back. Just take it one day at a time and try and stay as busy as you can. Hugs!

Missy73 05/06/2015

I too found it hard to get used to being alone in the beginning. It does get better and eventually I learned to appreciate certain things like being able to watch my favorite shows without complaint.

Try to do something to distract yourself tomorrow. Can you meet up with friends or take your dog to the park? Whatever you do, avoid contact with her. On my husband's birthday I made the mistake of looking at a picture he posted of the cake his girlfriend baked him and it was like being punched in the stomach. You don't want to do anything to cause a setback. As SJA said, you're doing great.

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