my cousin introduced me to this guy 3 years ago, at first he was a no go because he was a little rough around the edges, but he came to my job with flowers , cleaned himself up and begged me to be his girlfriend. A guy never done that for me before and I was sort of new to the dating game so I went for it. As time went on I felt him to be the most loyal guy I've ever met. He had a bad past but I accepted it and I admired the changes he made. As time went on we enjoyed each other company. we did everything together in the beginning. We smoked weed together, drank together, went out together, went to church together. EVERYTHING. I was a struggling Christian, he wasn't really a Christian at all. Then I got pregnant. He asked me to marry him, he got baptized into the church and things where going great. We strived to be better Christians, he strived to stop smoking (I completely stopped, mainly bc I was pregnant). And once the baby got here we got married 2 months after. This all happened within a time span of 11 months. I basically got pregnant 2 months after we met. Everything happened really fast, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. 2 months after we got married I found out he cheated. I caught him read handed. I wasn't even looking. He accidentally called me and I heard him having sex on the phone. I rushed home but he wasn't there. He was supposed to be home. He told me earlier that he was home. I was at work. Anyways, I forgave him. His drinking got worse and he lost his job. Continued cheating and I moved out. Every time I would go through something I would talk to his mom about it bc I had no one to talk to. I wondered if weed was the only drug he was using (I told her that) I thought me and her was close. I considered her another mother especially bc she left my husbands dad for being a crack head. My husband slept all the time, he was always out with his "boys". Sometimes didn't come home til 1pm the next day. He end up moving back home with his mom and she's been acting funny towards me for some reason. Maybe she just tired of hearing me talk about him. She said from the beginning  that we wouldn't last 6 months. I feel so hurt and low. How could he do me like that when I accepted him for who he was and what he did. If he didn't want me why would he go through all this as to marrying me! I filed for divorce but I went and had sex with him again like a dummy and got pregnant. His family wants me to have a abortion but I'm keeping it. I just need some encouragement. I know the marriage is over. I really wish things could have worked out. And I know that God wants marriages to work out while the devil does everything he can to destroy them. It's just so confusing. I feel bad for my children. They have a great mother but I have no support from him. I feel alone. And I feel dumb for airing out his dirty Lundry to his mom bc that didn't help anything. She went and told his sister everything I told her and now his sister mad at me to. And she thinks I'm crazy for keeping the baby. So crazy that she wants me to have no parts in talking to him at all. (Not that I wanna talk to him anymore anyways) but we do have a child together. Such a stressful situation. I'm trying to keep my head up but this has got me down. I feel unloyal as well. I feel like I failed