RR- I get what you're saying. I actually can understand why he wouldn't really love me or "us" anymore- the relationship was pretty dead and he is extremely toxic (I should be so lucky to not love him!!)- it's also really unclear to me whether an individual diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder is even capable of really loving another person (and after 18 years- I am sure I wasn't the best NS source any longer). I guess it's the statement itself that I am reacting to. Really, today I am just being a big baby- feeling a little down and sorry for myself because I am so unlovable... blah, blah, blah. You know, just one of those really lonely days when you just want to have someone special in your life... Intellectually, I get it... I am just feeling terribly sad and rejected. His therapist told him that she was shocked he stayed with the same woman for 18 years... he was gracious enough to tell me that that was because of who I am... oh well- at least it's clearly over- no waffling!! Thanks RR- Hugs to you! K

Unfortunately I am getting the "I am still in love with you but I am in love with her too" line. He says he just can't decide who he is "in love" with more.
I think it would be easier to take if he would just tell me he wasn't in love with me anymore.

My daughter showed me this song. It's my new favorite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gx6rm9TVZg

Great song, Skizz!

Lynne

Im new to this forum but this topic is really interesting and in the list of absurd things guys say let me add mine.
My boyfriend said that he was young so I should allow him to be with other girls so that when he looks back at life he wudn't feel like he missed out any fun. But that I was the only girl he truly loved and he wud stay with me forver..other girls can come and go... what a jerk!

Roadrunner: I am completely tracking with you.

I too am torn by this but in a way this will upset you all and Im sorry. Let me see if I can explain.

I have told this to my STBXH. What I mean by it is the truth. I love him and always will but unlike you KD I do not wish to have sex with him anymore, I do not want him to do anything for me. I do not want to be his wife any longer. I have fallen out of love WITH him. But understand, I care about him, I care about his health and welfare and morale. I do not wish anything bad for him. He is a good man. But I want him to understand that I do not hate him, and I am no longer angry with him. THAT is why I say it, because it's true. There is no alterior motive other than I need him to know that I have no regrets nor do I hate him through all of this.

Because til the day I die, the life that we shared and the experiences we had together I will always love. I do not hate him, I do not wish any ill on him ever but I simply am no longer in love with him anymore. But I will always love him....

Does that make sense?

And I hate that it hurts you all so much because I say it with the hopes he won't hurt as bad....

kdmac is just got that same statement 2 weeks ago. And boy does it just rip your heart out. I really dont know what to think after 18 years of marriage.