Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
OMG I know I am an idiot and so stupid for not correcting my issues earlier but like a fool... I held on to a thread of hope that my ex, Cory, would realize she made a mistake and come back. I even allowed her to still work as my office manager because she did a great job and truthfully... If I let her go, I knew I would never see her or her son Matthew again.
Anyway, I have asked her a few times recently to move slow and to truly think before casting me and my kids aside. I asked her to just know that the person she is seeing is the same person that had nothing good to say about her in the past and even spent many years trying to get in my ex-wifes (Wendy) pants while we were married. He told her anything he could to discredit me to Wendy just in an attempt to sleep with her. I didn't know the extent of what he was telling her until recently when Wendy told me. He has cheated on his wife for years and will do the same to her. Her reservation with me was fear of abandonment. Go Figure....
After a very stressful day, I asked her if she wanted to take the kids this weekend to a corn maze and she said she had plans and wouldn't be around. I asked if she was going away again with Shawn and she indicated she was. I was absolutely 100% devistated and broke down like a baby. I asked her to not do that to me and to reconsider. She was cold, disconnected and had absolutely no remorse or consideration of my feelings for her at all.
I told her I could not work with her under the circumstances and that she needed to not come in tomorrow. I also told her that I didn't want to hurt her or her son and this was killing me emotionally. She said she would be just fine and i walked away crying like a foolish baby. I couldn't help it at all. I know I screwed up in so many ways!
Help me to regain myself as a man, a father, an employer and to not worry as she moves on and sleeps with this scumbag. I just can't even describe the pain of thinking of him with her because of how precious she is to me.
PLEASE HELP ME! I AM LOST MORE THAN EVER!
Jim :(
Anyway, I have asked her a few times recently to move slow and to truly think before casting me and my kids aside. I asked her to just know that the person she is seeing is the same person that had nothing good to say about her in the past and even spent many years trying to get in my ex-wifes (Wendy) pants while we were married. He told her anything he could to discredit me to Wendy just in an attempt to sleep with her. I didn't know the extent of what he was telling her until recently when Wendy told me. He has cheated on his wife for years and will do the same to her. Her reservation with me was fear of abandonment. Go Figure....
After a very stressful day, I asked her if she wanted to take the kids this weekend to a corn maze and she said she had plans and wouldn't be around. I asked if she was going away again with Shawn and she indicated she was. I was absolutely 100% devistated and broke down like a baby. I asked her to not do that to me and to reconsider. She was cold, disconnected and had absolutely no remorse or consideration of my feelings for her at all.
I told her I could not work with her under the circumstances and that she needed to not come in tomorrow. I also told her that I didn't want to hurt her or her son and this was killing me emotionally. She said she would be just fine and i walked away crying like a foolish baby. I couldn't help it at all. I know I screwed up in so many ways!
Help me to regain myself as a man, a father, an employer and to not worry as she moves on and sleeps with this scumbag. I just can't even describe the pain of thinking of him with her because of how precious she is to me.
PLEASE HELP ME! I AM LOST MORE THAN EVER!
Jim :(
xoxo
Please focus on you!!!
Please take care of you.
She has shown by her reactions that she definitely does not think about or care about what this is doing to you.
I am so very, very sorry for the way this is making you feel!!
We continued to work together and remain professional through the whole divorce. Once, however, he came up behind my while I was sitting at my desk and tried to run my shoulders. He was so visibly hurt at how I just froze right there....he quickly removed his hands. Not a word was spoken about it.
If you insist on keeping her as your office manager, then keep it strictly professional, otherwise you are crossing lines.
I wish you could find a reason to kick her ass to the curb, personally.
As for the happy ending in my life...I've endured nothing but pain and suffering, and my ex is happily remarried with two little girls.
Have faith in the universe, Jim. Hugs.
You also have to speak to an attorney and figure out a way to get her out of the company--you obviously can't deal with her being there daily and I worry about your emotions. This time you cried like a baby. What happens if the next time you react in anger?
Please, you gotta let her go.
Sending hugs!!
please start using your head, Jim, and your power to be objective and self-controlled. emotionalism isn't working for you.
~~Hug~~
I feel like I just need to let it out.... I feel the betrayal so deep in my chest its not even funny.
I'll be ok in time... right now... its just a lot to handle...
Thanks for listening....
Jim
I know you want to keep her on board as an employee, and not only because that's your lifeline and hope but also because she's a good employee, but right now it seems to be doing much, much, much more harm than good.
I'm really sorry you are in such a difficult situation, but you have to do what's best for your long-term interest. Just be careful you don't run afoul of any employment rules and regs where your actions might be perceived as retaliatory or disciminatory.
I really hope you find a way to give you some relief from the constant reminders and agony. I think then you can at least start to come to terms with your current situation.
Turthfully, the only one who can help you is yourself. We can only give you encouragement and support. it took me a very long time to turn my husband's various betrayals into something positive for me. I took a long hard look at myself, went through a rather painful process that has led to a lot of serenity.
It is there waiting for you. Counselling will be a good start.
((((HUGS))))
I'm sorry you're going through this... I can relate. It is extremely difficult... Unfortunately there aren't any magic words that anyone can say because ultimately the choice is up to you. You can choose to be sad and upset (you have every right to feel that way, please don't get me wrong) or, you can choose to focus on you and your own happiness. I'm sure your kids make you happy :)
Honestly, Jim... I wouldnt ask her questions that you probably know the answer to OR risk it being an answer that will make you upset. She doesnt deserve your tears... Strength is a turn on. Show her that you are doing ok despite how you really feel. It may or may not bring her back but it will help you become stronger that much faster... Thats how it has been for me anyway...
You should go to the corn maze this weekend. It will be a good distraction for you and your kids :)
Best of luck to you