i think it is great that you have hope for your marriage and the desire to do all the hard work it takes to maintain one. please just remember that you cant control your wifes feelings about the marriage and she might see things differently.

Absolutely it's worth another try. Is she willing? Good luck.

i felt the same way when me and my wife got seperated , and still feel the same way after the divorce. i cry sometimes , i never knew how much she meant to me. so be strong and come over this site as much as you can, it really does help.

I am wondering what her reply to the email was. I asked to communicate honestly through email for a while to try to work on things that way. It is sometimes easier to talk about difficult thins in that way.

Please.....Pray for me

Heave Too,

I am sooooo sorry you're having a bad morning.

Whether or not you should hope for such things I don't know, but I completely understand because for some reason I'm there myself. Even after his cheating and his decision to leave I still miss him terribly.

I would absolutely hope for things to work out, but I would make certain you think that it can work out, particularly since there are children involved.

I thought about your sleeping post most all night last night while wishing I could sleep.lol

If I knew that my wife had cheated this wouldn't be nearly as hard. She is not cheating so this makes it horrible. I am in limbo and there is a slight chance that she could have a change of heart but there is a good chance that she won't. That makes it even harder.

If she had cheated I would have left. I will not share a loved one with anyone!

This is bad. Now I am hovering over my email to see if she responds back to me. What is wrong with me!!!!!

if it's important to you to e-mail and tell her these things then you should do it. wether or not if will change her mind, you'll have to wait and see. i think that every effort should be made to save the relationship. however, keep working on yourself to make a happy life. take this time to change things about yourself that you don't like, perhaps things you did in the marriage that could use a little changing. take the opportunity to take good care of yourself.

Sending you warm hugs and positive thoughts Heave
I think its great that you were able to tell her how you feel I hope she sees it with open eyes and an open heart. But know that you are great no matter what she says!

Heavetoo, I will be praying for you. Just remember as women we don't want to hear how much we mean to you when we are gone. We need to hear it while we still are together. I hope things work out for you. Be encouraged.

Here ia a hug to you.

I hope things work out the way you would like them to.

Unfortunately, the ones whos left is holding all the cards and we have to sit back and see if we can still be in the game. GRRRRRRR

Heave Too - I hope you two can work things out. You sound as though you really love her and want a solid marriage. Praying for you

I am sorry you are going through this pain. Sounds as if you are going into the Bargaining stage. I would have done anything to get my H back. But would I have lost my true self by doing that?
Take care Heave. I hope it works out in your favor.

After 3 months of being without my husband, knowing that he did and has cheated over our 28 years, knowing that he has plans now for someone else in his life, knowing that he couldn't care less if I lived or died at this point - knowing all this I still miss him and I still love him. He chose this for us, I didn't even see it coming.

There's nothing wrong with any of the feelings that you go through at this time. Each one needs to be explored and dealt with. Hovering over your email and clinging to hope seem pretty normal to me. I had to leave since we lived on a farm and I couldn't take care of the place until it sells. I spent the first month away from home monitoring his emails (I know all his passwords and he's not real swift about changing them) and monitoring voice mail at the house. I don't do it anymore because I found it caused me even greater heartache.

If you feel hopeful, don't deny that feeling. If something comes of it - rejoice. If nothing comes of it, know that you are someone who values loyalty and commitment and then set your sights on the future. Your future.

The best counsel I've received was to pray and stay close to God, he'll help you through. The next best message I received - take care of yourself - nurture yourself - grieve when you have to and don't be shocked when you find yourself in enjoyable moments. You have a choice - decide now if the world has ended or if a new world has just opened up.

I'm only 3 months in to this and still in a lot of pain, but I've decided that I have to focus on the good and the future. If he fits in there with me somewhere down the line we'll have to see what happens. But I'm living my life as if it's over. It's the only way to stay sane.

Hey Heaveto,

So sorry you are in pain. Don't worry about the crying--let the tears fall. It will help ease the pain.

Nothing wrong with extending the olive branch to see if you can work things out. Many of us are dealing with cheaters so despite our love for them, we know we can't go back. You are in a different situation. Perhaps there is a chance to work it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. At least you will know one way or the other.

Peace and hugs.