This week started off crazy my soon to be ex messaged me explaining why he left. He said it seemed like I didn't care about him or his opinions and that I spent too much time helping my family. He went on and on about how bad it was. We fought and somehow ended up talking about how we still loved eachother. Then he said he wanted to see me again to see if there was anything left between us because he is torn between his new girlfriend and me. And also he told me it would have to be a secret I couldn't tell anyone and He was deleting our conversation that made me mad me his wife of 9 years would be a dirty secret  He  said he was regretting his decision to walk away. I have wanted to hear that for so long. We talked for hours about our mistakes we made and how we would change things. I was an emotional wreck confused crying exhausted not sure what I should do. I told him I needed to sleep and think about it. After I slept I woke up so angry at myself for falling back into the pain I thought I had gotten past. So I made a decision not to see him I told him I didn't want to be his second choice and that I was worth more than that. He then told me he understood and that I would be his second choice which makes me even more angry why would his wife if almost 10 years be second to his new girlfriend that he has only been with for 4 months.its so painful to think about and now mybheart hurts again because I feel like I'm nothing to him and He still means a lot to me he would of never been my second choice  He wants to be friends with me and says he wants me to be happy. I cant be his friend it's too painful I can't imagine him with someone else it makes me too angry. Have any of you been able to be friends after if so how?