Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I figured out my problem

FamilyGirl1967
FamilyGirl1967

With my ex living right across the street from me and seeing him and his new gf together. I now get it. For 4 years we fought and broke up then got back together, its been like that since the summer of 2014. Although I have never seen any other women or anyone for that matter at his house since I've known him, other than just family, but he also has no male friends that I am aware of. I was always the one that broke up with him and I did it because he always tried to tell me what to do and that I wasn't aloud to have anyone in my house that I pay for. Whenever we would break up even though I was the one that broke up with him each and every time due to his behavior and abuse. Stupid me I would start to miss him so badly and I don't think it was so much about sex as it was the attention he gave me. Holding me at night while we slept, eating together, being together he was so much a part of my life and I did love him in the beginning and I was trying to figure out how to get the beginning of our relationship back. I was tired of trying. The last break up at the end March 2017, I couldn't take his crap anymore I just kept catching him in so many lies, I started asking the neighborhood about him and his ex wife, it wasn't good. I wasn't aloud to have any male friends and I am very outgoing and I love people. I will not be controlled ever. The bottom line is it was a pattern of breaking up me walking to his place and we would get back together. Well that won't happen anymore because she's there now so I know this is our final breakup. I don't love him and I don't want him but he was always my friend and there for me, even after we broke up. The sad part is he gave me a 4000.00 dollar ring in October of 2015 and I just kept giving it back after our breakups. For some strange reason he gave it back to me in early March,  he came over and to my place and said to me doesn't you hand feel heavy. Well obviously I returned the ring on March 23rd of this year. My therapist asked me one question, she said what is more important happiness or a ring? I chose happiness. Except I am not so happy the majority of the time. I just wished that it was like it was in the beginning of our relationship. I know I keep harping on this but I can't help it, I was hurt so badly by this man. 


mlr0853
mlr0853
why on earth would you choose to live next door to your ex?
Swimgrl
Swimgrl
By seeing him everyday it is a reminder of what you feel you lost and you have to relive it daily. I would suggest moving. I too was controlled and never allowed anyone in home . Now I am seeing a counselor and in the acceptance stage...although it still hurts alot. I also wanted to get back together but I realized I no longer love him.
FamilyGirl1967
FamilyGirl1967
I moved in here 4 years ago, my father helped me get this place and he was the grounds keeper of our trailer park. I own my place and I didn't choose to live next to him. By the way my father passed away November 22nd 2016 due to lung cancer. And this man was even at my father's memorial. He knew my father before he even knew me,my father wanted me to be happy and safe with my son. This man is the one that came to me when I was walking my dog ,which by the way he had to be put down in may of 2016 because he actually made it to a wonderful 16 years of age. So I didn't choose all of this, this is what happened. I have suffered dearly since I met this man. I was married for 23 years and I am divorced with 2 kids by my ex husband. I was on my own for 3 years before I met this my ex bf and my first relationship after my divorce. The bottom line is he cheated on me and abused me. I was promised marriage and to be together forever. So I didn't choose to live next to him this is where God put me.
Spr167
Spr167
Ok, enough is enough!! Your staying put, and we are sending you our deepest condolences. However, if you don't love this man than why are you bringing him up daily? You feel played by someone you loved? We are human and can feel eachother, so trust he feels your body language everyday. While you letting the co-worker that you hooked up with fly by the hooks.

Maybe you should give the co worker a chance? Most time it workers better when 1 partner cares just a little bit more than the other. Since your not willing to move, You'll be engulfed in mental strong holds that don't exist! You are driving you nuts, get pass this and move on, with someone new. Yes, easier said then done, but move forward or out
FamilyGirl1967
FamilyGirl1967
I don't want someone new. Have you not heard of God? I am a decent Christian woman, I don't want a man . It's only been 3 months since my break up. I don't just have sex with anyone. My suggestion is you look up what a psychopath is because that is what he is. And I will say this again I don't love him. It's what he did to me, used me,lied and cheated on me. The way you make it sound is this is my fault and I am tired of hearing about it oh and I know just get over it. Look up what a psychopath is maybe then you will get it. I got on this forum to vent and I feel what I feel. As far as Co worker's or people for that matter I give everyone a chance, I am a good person that would do anything for anyone. Thats the problem with this world today everyone judges everyone else. I am a pretty smart woman and I am a person that needs to know all I can about everything, whether it is words history or anything. I also know people like to give the wrong advice about things they don't know about . I don't give advice, you want to know why? Because I am human and I don't know what another person feels.
mlr0853
mlr0853
ok, so you were hurt...getting into any relationship that is a risk. Sadly the red flags were there...hence the saying 'love is blind'. So you are not moving, you gave back the ring...what next...personally I've been in a relationship with a co worker...not a good time for me after I split...sounds like this time cause of the other girl what is done is done...guess making a plan for your sanity would be the next step....try reading codependency no more....wanting to help/fix make everything nice when the other person doesn't want the same...Since you brought up God, I believe God brings people into my life for a reason, to teach me something or for me to teach them something...what's your learning lesson?
Spr167
Spr167
Ok vent, good luck
FamilyGirl1967
FamilyGirl1967
I know what is next , I go to church with my granddaughter, I wake up every day and eventually the hurt will go away. Also I am a very independent woman. Have been for 8 years now.
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