I've never felt this way before. I mean, I've thought about suicide before during my other episodes of depression but would never do it. Right now, I don't even have the energy to think about suicide. I just want to give up. I've been feeling depressed for almost two years now. I'm a good person who does good things for others and I'm sick of suffering. I just want it to be over.

But don't worry, I won't commit suicide, I just won't. For one thing I don't have the energy like I said. And I couldn't do that to family. And I know I will feel better someday. But I don't even want to live anymore. I don't think I'll ever regret leaving my ex fiance two years ago. And he won't take me back. We've tried and it didn't work, he doesn't feel the same way. I've been through depression before, but then it was all chemical. This is situational and it's a situation I can't solve. It's over. I hate my life and I want it to be over. I left my ex and I'll never forgive myself for that. Now I'm alone and miserable when I had a great guy who loved me but doesn't anymore. I left him for selfish reasons. He would've taken me back for about 5 months after I left him but then he moved on. Right about the time I started to regret leaving him. I really screwed up. I have ruined my life. I want to give up.