Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I feel sick.

linny5227
linny5227

Because of everything that happened yesterday (if you would like to know, you can look at my last post) I just feel sick. I literally am sick as I now have a cold from all the stress but also feel sick because of how hurt I am. Due to the nature of how I found out the truth regarding my exs moving on, I didn't eat last night. I seem to have little to no appetite anymore, when before I never that that issue. On top of it, he's refusing to get his stuff out earlier than we originally discussed (when I found out what I did I told him to get his stuff out immediately). This is making it so hard to want to be at my house. On top of it, I didn't sleep much last night because the messages just keep popping into my head. I guess what hurts the most about him moving on is seeing him talk to someone like he talked to me 7 years ago. I was missing that part for a long time in our relationship and nothing hurts more than to see he has already passed his heart on to someone else he thinks is better. I'm crushed. I know I need to move on and be a better person to be happy, but it's easier said than done. Anyone else going through this right now? 

sjs777
sjs777
do you have a friend or family member who you can turn to for support? someone who will listen? if not, by all means lean on me. for me its always helped to get it out. i didn't have the support network so i found solace in counselling
linny5227
linny5227
My sister has been great and all my friends have been really supportive, but I don't really want to bombard them all the time with it. It's not like this is something common for me. I never had a serious relationship with anyone but him and I was blindsided, despite how he said he had been unhappy for years. Why does someone propose to someone when they are unhappy and have no intention of actually getting married? It boggles my mind and I have a habit of dwelling on stuff.
sjs777
sjs777
its much the same for me. my support group is essentially no one. I have my cousin who lives across the country and i felt i was over bombarding him so i backed off even though he and his wife were very supported and still are. the biggest challenge in support is they often listen and agree and don't necessarily have the knowledge or experience to offer real advice - at least its what i found. i certainly will listen any time you like. for me counselling was the perfect fit early on when i needed it most as i felt no guilt putting it all in his lap. i spent a lot of time finding the councillor who could give me what i needed as i found each specialized in different matters and often have personal approaches and biases based other own experiences

i too once spent a lot of time trying to rationalize my irrational spouse only to find it didn't resolve anything. i found i had to work with what i could change, and that was me. so i looked for ways to stimulate my mind in positive ways (learn from my contribution or lack thereof to our relationship, who to get out and enjoy life, how to take care of those things which caused me the greatest hold back in life - finances and too many excuses to embrace personal growth..). i also learned that no one every is taught how to be successful in a relationship - so i set about to learn all i could to make a successful relationship and again found it began with me. its through that discovery i fund that the greatest way to change any situation start with me
sjs777
sjs777
it helped me to a degree as well to understand mine as well, but i always make certain to spend most time thinking of me, as i can control me
linny5227
linny5227
@sjs777 you're right about me needing to focus on me. I'm hoping after he's completely out I can have no contact and be free to truly focus on me.

@ChelseaLeigh it sounds like your ex and mine would get along. Lol but in all seriousness we obviously deserve better. Nobody deserves to feel this way.
sjs777
sjs777
you deserve happiness, for you