When a spouse decides to leave it's extremely hard on the "left" partner. My ex wife did this after 24 years and I was devastated...but healed over time. My advice is simple...but difficult. Let him go. Then cut him off 100% if possible. Cut off everything...faceboook..Snapchat...all that. It's the fastest route to getting over someone. They have to be completely out of your life to really heal. Sorry your going through it but if he wants out it's for the best, you deserve someone who wants to be with you..

Thanks for the response. It's so hard because he's still here. We've decided he's the person who will be leaving but I don't feel like he is in a rush to go? Hasn't started packing etc. He also said something to me last week that gave me mixed signals. He said just because he's going to move out doesn't mean that nothing can never happen between us again. Am I right in being confused? Surely if he wants to go and he actually goes in his mind that's him ending things?

I was in your exact same situation one month ago... a lot of the same reasons why he left me also but we had a few more...we were together 20 years married 12 I had the same feelings you are going through until a couple days ago. My sister had asked me if I was financially good would I still want to stay in the marriage? I thought about it for a minute and the answer was no ... because how can you be happy and enjoy life if your partner does not ... you can't make someone change the way they feel
. I know this is hard but once you realize your going to be ok and even happy then things will start changing. Hang in there ... hugs

My ex "dumped" me but her plan was to stay in the house and save money or some shit (poor planning on her part as she should've had her exit ready)...that living arrangement lasted 3 weeks until I told her to leave..she went to her mothers. It was months later after I learned of her cheating did alllllll the pieces came together. Don't be surprised if he has his sites on someone else or is already emotionally or even physically involved. I would've never believed it after 24 years but it happened and it happens all the time I've learned since then. If he wants out then out means OUT...not partially out. I spent wayyyy too long in contact hoping and convincing myself she was coming back, it was a colossal waste of time

I honestly don't think he has cheated on me, If I found that out it really would destroy me. Although naturally it has crossed my mind!
Am I right in thinking he is giving me mixed signals or false hope though?

He's probably giving you mixed signals because he wants to keep you on the back burner. He wants to explore other women but if it doesn't work out he has you on pause. Don't fall for that shit. If he's not 100% with you then it's 0%...there's no halfway.

good discussion. I would suggest have a heart to heart to talk to him. discover what is the real issue. it could be you need more time together...

He already said he's not willing to attend counseling or work things through… That means he's detached. You don't want to put yourself in a position of begging or humiliating yourself.

Most of us got the line, i love you BUT_________

Even my ex played at the MC to make Himself
look good and He was long checked out and
disconnected. His eyes and heart were not with
me Or on our marriage.

I went to therapy and divorce care they both
Helped me a lot. Divorce care helps with the
grieving And the divorce process.

Be kind and gentle to yourself, this is a long
Hard road. We all make it eventually it just takes
Time and Getting thru the separation and divorce
phase.

Then the healing can start, the next stage is not
easy either. The emotional roller coaster will run
For awhile, as long as you are grieving and until
You truly can let go. Detaching is the key and they
are Already way ahead of you in that game.

It all comes down to the financials at the end, thats
The big concern. Not you or what you want its about
Them keeping their lifestyle with the least financial
Fallout. HUGS