Hello Angie - Thanks for coming and sharing. My story, while not exactly like yours, is not exactly NOT like yours either. If you want, I'd be happy to message with you. I can listen or share what has helped. I can say that things will get better. They have started to for me (I think), but, it takes time and it takes some conscious effort on your part too. Anyhow, I'm sorry for what you are going through.

I can understand "feeling like an idiot" but you are, most assuredly, not an idiot. You loved him, and in loving him, some blinders were on. When a relationship starts decaying, and forces you to look at it in hindsight, the clues and things were always there, the whole time. I think most people don't change drastically...but our perceptions change as the relationship does.

Don't beat yourself up. It's just Facebook. Someone who has time to get on FB and trash someone else, is a tool.

Thank you for your replies. I had been feeling a little better, not bursting into tears constantly, and starting to have some good days, then we had to meet for signing the papers for the divorce about a week and a half ago. That led to more bad days than good again. But now he's " in a relationship"! Already? We haven't even gotten the confirmation our papers were received by the courts, we don't know the date of when our divorce will be final. I feel like he's cheating on me, and my mind starts wondering- had he met her before? How long has his family been talking about me. Yes TTMI I did have blinders on. I overlooked a lot of stuff and figured we would work it out. I have learned from this but at the same time I have this dark depression over me and the feeling like I'll never find anyone. In reading on this bored in seeing I'm not the only one who feels discouraged.
Input..I would like to know what's worked for you.

To be honest, I'm so far from my break up (four years) that I think TIME did a lot of it. Once I made the decision that I wanted to divorce, I felt relieved about having a direction, knowing it was the right one. We divorced amicably...no issues with property, custody, etc. We were both very agreeable, so I'm sure that helped. As far as his family is concerned, I deal with them on an "as-needed" basis. I live out of state, so when I visit back home to see my family, and that's also where his is, I let them know my son is in town, and I deal with them much like I do my ex...like coparents. I won't hold my son from them or play petty games... I don't have time to waste on nonsense.

I take my responsibility as a parent very personally, so as long as my son is healthy and safe, then I don't concern myself with my ex or his stuff. I pick my battles...if it negatively impacts my kid, then I say something. If he decided to screw around with my child support, his ass would be in court...and he wouldn't like that because I have the time and money to overrun him in court.

In the course of four years, I nourished and established friendships, created time for "me" when my son is with his Dad every other weekend. I dated here and there, but that was never a priority until my current boyfriend. Everyone else I saw for a short amount of time didn't matter much, until this guy. I make sure I go to the doctor regularly, budget my money, and do things that positively impact my life and my son's life.

I have also never had a facebook account, and never intend to. This Board is the closest thing to "online activity" I do, social-wise...the big part of my life is IRL.

Eventually...in time...you will have a life full of so much, your ex will become insignificant and won't even blip on your radar.

you need to take sometime to get to know eachother well. getting carried away from heat of moment is usually bad idea. not just simply good feeling, nice looking, fun time but something you have in common deep down in core value. Keep checking his account means you still have some sort of attachment with this man. don't waste your time and energy on them.
he may have loved you it just his love didn't last long. it sounds like he easily marry and divorce and easily go find another partner like flipping a switch... i don't think he is type of man that takes love nor marriage seriously.... he does it more easily than changing job.. don;t let this situation make you weak and dependent.
always having someone by yourside does not mean you will be happy. There are many ppl out there who are married but feel like spending time with plastice mannequin becasue there is no internal connection. just enjoy your freedom and independence ..
feeling of desperation of not wanting to be alone may casue you to hang around with ppl that are not best interest to your heart.. .toxic, bad ppl.... be strong, clear your mind from all the emotions and try to be rational when making any decision.
don't worry about things that are not in your control. instead look into yourself (your internal world), look for peace and happiness from within. things that are in your control is your mind/ thoughts.