Hello
I'm in a similar situation as you are. 54 and just divorced. The divorce was not wanted by myself. I still really miss my EW. I wonder if I will ever meet someone again, even though I'm not ready just now. I think we both need to just let some time pass. I plan on trying internet dating as I don't attend church or work with any interesting people. Hang in there and be strong.

I'm struggling with similar feelings. I was with my ex for 20 years & I feel like I can't live without him (on an emotional level especially). He didn't treat me very well, so this feeling of devastation & not being able to go on is quite confusing to me. I was used to our patterns I guess.

I'm not close to other people (family or friends) so I live with a lot of fear about being alone in a way that is terrifying to me. I will say, I don't think I'm psychologically all that well right now, so that is making things worse...you are probably still in shock yourself. I went through that for the first several months, then I had a slightly easier period, but now I'm back in the fear again. I think this is a cyclical thing that a lot of people go through, based on whatever their relationship (& childhood) were like.

Look around for any groups you can join where you might be able to meet people (meetup.com maybe). If you have friends, let them know you are interested in dating (not yet, trust me, even if you think you need to find someone RIGHT NOW, you don't want that...you need a bit of time for the shock to wear off at least, & then maybe find your feet). Later, you can look at joining some dating sites if that seems like it would bring more options.

The main thing I would recommend is that you take as good care of yourself, emotionally & physically, as you can right now. Socialize with friends as much as you can, try not to let all of it be about your relationship. Really important: be careful who you confide in & what you tell them...not everyone is worthy of your trust & vulnerability.

You can start looking for small ways to start rebuilding so that when you are ready to date, you will have a better sense of who you are & what you want.

I know it's hard & it's scary right now. Try not to let yourself run off into the future if all you can imagine are things that upset you.

You will. It will happen when you are over this guy.
Hugs

I think its very new and you were together a very long time. Its hard to imagine life without a person who was once such a big part of your life. It takes time to heal.

While i can relate to feeling like noone will love me. I dont misd mine. He has been just cruel to me but i do miss good times we had and am finally accepting that anything with him is over. This has been a process for me.
Have you considered a hobby where you can just meet others with same interest?

Wishing you the best.

Stephanie just work on yourself and heal.

Let yourself grieve and go thru your emotions
And feelings. Face them and yourself and where
You are truly at.

Rebound reationships are just that.

Thirteen years is a long time. It just takes time
To move thru all the muck.

((((((( hugs)))))

Thank you guys so much. I just have such low self esteem right now. I know that I'm not even close to being able to date. I'm just afraid there will be no one who wants to date me or care about me. So depressed right now

Well you are wrong. I would be interested in dating you. Please think positive. There are lots of single people out there.

I am sorry you are going through this.
I feel so bad to read your title. what is so very important, is that you love yourself. You need to take care of yourself, do things. that you
love to do and pamper yourself.
You really deserve not to be living with someone who is cheating on you.
I have been living the dreaded "alone" for 13 years. I love my life and wouldn't go back. I love being in charge of myself and being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, and not having to worry about what someone else is doing.
I come home to my cat who treats me way better than my husband did.
I wish you the very best.

we are doomed by what we see for ourselves; positive or negative. So try to put some positives in to your day whether how big or small. Anything can help heal even the most broken person.

Hopefully, you won't be "loved" again like that turd "loved" you.

When you understand and accept you'll be on your way to daylight

I think it is important to note that feeling loved is not exclusive to a romantic/intimate relationship. What about surrounding yourself with loving friends? You sound more introverted, so I understand how this can also be hard. But what about finding a new community to engage in?

For me this community was my Crossfit gym. It's literally a family that gets together to work on our health and fitness but we also socialize and provide emotional support. I know this is super specific and not for everyone, but reflect on what you enjoy. Maybe you could join a knitting group, a hiking club, a bowling team. There are endless possibilities!

I have suffered from depression in the past so I also know that making the decision to get-up and do something doesn't always feel like your own. But if you can find the energy one day, that is the first step.

You are NOT doomed to be alone in any way if you decide that you won't let yourself be there. Look at this situation, you decided to reach out for help from strangers, and look at all the support you have gotten! You are far from alone! Make the decision to move forward (it is okay if you are not ready to decide this yet).

It's hard to believe others when they say that you will okay and things will work out. People tell me this all the time yet the pain I feel inside makes me doubt it strongly. But I believe if you take active steps investing in yourself, you will come out a happier and stronger person.

"When you're 100% comfortable with your own aloneness, you'll atract people and circumstances that will show you how full your life actually is"

It will take time, but you have to be able to be happy alone before you attract someone worth keeping.