Hugs! You are NOT worthless. You are a wonderful soul going through a tough time. Be gentle with yourself, its a process to get through this. Feel your feelings, vent, cry, scream, let the poison seep out of you. After being attached to someone for so long and on such a deep level, we often associate or measure our self worth as an attachment to another. Its hard to get through this, I know...but know that the pain is temporary. i wish I had some magic words to take it all away.
Sending healing energy your way....take good care of you...

I'm sorry jcolacino, but sounds to me like the two of them deserve each other. Your best mate? That's just wrong on many levels. I think if you didn't have to have contact with her at all it will be helpful because it's in your face everyday.

Your feelings are normal for what you are going through. (((HUGS)))

Wow, it is odd to read your comments because I'm also feeling the way you are about most everything -- I am holding on to some crazy belief that he will come to his senses and leave this OW and come back. I can still see the love in his eyes when he looks at me and I just don't get it. This week he apparently is not talking or texting me -- trying to avoid me -- even when the messages are about the kids. I knew it would happen at some point - but it seems so sudden. I can't help but imagine that they are together all the time this week since I have the kids. It breaks my heart.

What I'm starting to realize is that I deserve better than this. If I took him back after he treated me like this -- then I would probably be going through this all over again soon enough. I deserve someone that will fight for me and stand by me and not betray me or even make an effort to work on our relationship.

That said -- like you -- I still keep some hope alive inside of me that he will suddenly realize what he has lost and come back. What I'm hoping is that I have the strength to make sure I am watching out for me.

Somehow it is time to focus on doing even little things that make us happy and give us strength. And maybe this is the wrong way to look at things -- but clearly the stronger I get and the more I focus on myself - the more attractive I become to the ex. Of course, when he does come back -- I'll probably be strong enough that I won't want him at that point. (That is both my hope and my fear.)

Jim, when they leave they become toxic to us. We just can't get that in our heads when we are shell shocked. She turned on you. She is not expressing love. You must back off. Your feelings are addictive feelings of withdrawl and of grief. You must be very careful because you are still in shock.

What a shame......he wasn't a friend! I am so sorry.

You aren't worthless! What they did to you is horrible. If she knew that he is a cheater, only to leave you for him, then maybe they deserve each other. Remember the saying, "What they do with you they'll do to you." I'm currently going through a similar situation and I know what its like. ((HUGS))

Jim, I haven't been in the same situation as you but I know some of what you are going through. I can't argue with your feelings, no one can. I can tell you that you are worthy of being treated better than you have been.

I know about loss. I know how hard it is to have the person you love right in front of you but so far away. I am sorry that you still have to work with her. is there any other department or division that you can transfer to? Or can she transfer? I am still living with mine. It is hard to know that even though things seem "normal", she is moving out as soon as she can. It also hurts to see her carrying on her online search for someone else. I have to leave the room.

It is a horrible, horrible situation to have a trusted friend and significant other get together. I don't know the whole story but unless you were a complete a**hole, you don't deserve this. You are worth a lot, especially to your kids. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them.

Keep posting. It helps.

Firstly, you are not worthless....it's natural to feel down when we are no longer with the person that we love.

Take this time to focus on you. One thing I can suggest is to do little things that you enjoy, even if it's just small things like taking a long shower, going on walks, listening to music, etc...

It took me a long time to understand 'never make someone a priority who treats you as an option.'

Hopefully in time you will also realise just how wrong BOTH of them are and realise that you most certainly do not want her back. It hurts to lose a long-term friendship, but somethings can eventually be forgiven but most certainly never forgotten.

Hi Jim
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am truly lost for words as I also am in hopes of still staying married even though my EX doesnt want to be with me.
Just know that you are not worthless and you deserve so much more. Hang in there! You seem to have everything put together as far as owning your own busn and all. She is lucky that you are a good guy to have her still working for you. As far as your friend who is seeing her....he doesnt deserve your friendship!

Jim - she is cold to you because she is guilty. She is treating you poorly out of shame. Kill her with kindness. Try and act as completely normal around her as you possibly can. Did she tell you that she thought you would eventually leave her? That seems very strange.

once you start to take back your power and control over your own feelings and emotions you will start to feel better. i believe the only way you can do that is by ending your professional relationship with this man.

you don't deserve to be treated coldly, etc. and seeing her.. being around her when she is moody with you, that leaves you feeling worse.

take pride in the man you are, and set boundries for what you are not willing to tolerate. they have wronged you.. you need to move forward... get them out of your life.

you will still need to grieve and heal but seeing her daily and wondering if there is still hope will only leave you beaten and in a holding pattern. it is not healthy for YOU.

and why would you want to be with her if she realizes she mad a mistake... you deserve better. VALUE yourself and get yourself out of the "clearance" bin. You are FULL PRICE mister!!!!

Hugs

i meant ending professional relationship with woman, your ex.. sorry!

I agree with everyone. You cannot be in the same enviroment with her and heal. He is not your friend and will eventually cheat on her. Most of us on ds loved our partners or we wouldn't be here. We have or are going through similar circumstances. Having no contact helps tremendously and she really is in no position to be treating you badly at work. If she does realize she made a mistake it won't be until you are out of her life. HUGS

Wow...I cant imagine what that might feel like working around the love birds. You are special Jim...and this relationship she has with him will not work, you are right... BUT she is hurting you so bad...and she doesn't even show you love now. She is the fool...Maybe you can write a list of what you don't like about her..and read it often.