I'm so sorry your going through this. And you are not pathetic! You do matter! Don't let his weakness bring you down. You will get through this. Yes it's going to suck and be painful for a time, but the best thing you can do now is to take care of you. You are the most important right now. Do the screaming, crying, sad songs, pints of ice cream, mad songs, lift you up songs, journal, whatever it takes to help yourself. I just got blindsided after 27 years so I'm feeling your pain. We are strong women. We can and will get through this.

Oh, here are some good songs (I think) that are helping me;
"Broken" by Lindsey Haun
"The Climb" by Miley Cyrus
And "it's your life" by Francesca Battistelli

I have a whole playlist of songs like these.

If it matters it happens on the flip side of this sad song. 39 years and I lose out to White Riesling, Gevurtzraminer or Black Velvet are the current men in her life. None of those guys helped her to stay responsible with son needing a sober care provider so that's me. I'm still working on and waiting for divorce in October. No quick easy way to escape emotionally and physically intact.

I agree with Imlosingit. Your value and worth is not in that man. Him marrying that female is a reflection of his stupidity and you don't need that in your life. I know its a terrible thing and Im sorry that you have to go through this. Im here with you. - Hugs

Thank you everyone. It helps to know I'm not alone. Does anyone have any things they've done that's helped them? Tools or tricks?

I'm learning that you just have to go through it. Allow yourself to deal with all those emotions and work through them. Dont look for a quick fix because it will only draw out the process. Trust me, I wish I had the answers. I want out of this but I'm here dealing.

Therapy,...
Journaling. I couldn't believe how much that helps.
The book, "the power is within you".
I put up as many positive and encouraging quotes around the house as I could.
Plus the songs.
I'm trying to stay positive when ever I can. Take care.

Amen! thiscantbeit. Amen!

Sorry about your situation. Seven years is a long time to date someone. Were you living together?
I'm thinking he won't be with her as long as he was with you. Don't worry about it. You deserve better. It only hurts for a while. Your feeling of worthlessness will go away when you can see that your life matters with or without a relationship. Then you choose to be in a relationship just because you want to, not because you need someone else to validate your self-worth. He is the pathetic one here for jumping so abruptly out of a long term relationship.

no quick fix. I'm 5 months in and still going through it hard. Told my Ex today we need to go into No Contact for at least a few months because I can't have friendly conversations because I'm not ready to try to be friends. You just have to go through it... all of it. Let your setbacks try to motivate you forward. God it's hard... flipping hard. Just remember this path is a worn path and you are not alone. We're all here trying to figure it out.

Therapy - Agreed!
Feel the feels
Cry when you need to cry
Get angry
Journal
Spend time with your thoughts
Actively, Purposefully work towards being happy - make it a conscious choice and keep trying, every day.

Good luck on your journey.

-TM

My standard response it "Time and clarity." Those two things are the biggest healers in my opinion. I'm sorry for your pain, but trust me when I tell you that you dodged a bullet. Your former fiance has no character and you're better off without him.

Hang in there!

he doesn't know your worth but you do,don't give up now,don't let a prick make you feel useless......pick yourself back up,do what makes you happy and move on.....take your time and you will find out that what he thinks his having isn't real but will wish if back to you

Thank you everyone. Seriously. I just started a new job this week and am falling apart do your words and advice all really help!

Love is a magnificent thing, and you are very good at it, excellent, him not so. Being dumped isn't the most pleasant of feelings but speaking from experience, in the mid to long term not a bad thing either, correct, as time goes by it will become clear to you that this dude has done you a favor. According to science time heals a broken heart, time is on your side then.

Just say good riddance to trash a few times! I'm a great believer in karma. There is your soul mate looking for you. Start looking as well !