I would see a divorce attorney right away. I would explain that you two are separated and what she is doing and that you don't want to get stuck with debts she may incur involving a prison inmate.

Let the attorney advise you and guide you on what to do. I forget if you have children. If you do then talk to him about them and decisions may need to be made now about whether you want to go in for custody.

Your wife is an adult and can do what she wants and hang with prison inmates. But you don't want to be stuck with her debt, and you don't want to have any children stuck in the middle of a mess. If you want to proceed now with a divorce, then tell him and he can work on that. But I want to make sure your assets are protected so she doesn't tap them for money for the prison inmate.

I don't understand what you are asking. She is a soon to be ex so continue to extract her from you life. She seems like bad news

Do you have children with this woman? If so do whatever you must to protect them especially if she is now sending money to an inmate! Keep a record of the charge- you will need it for your divorce- and yes you do need to move forward with this divorce! Have you filed papers to say that you are legally separated? Some states require that or you will end up being responsible for bills that she incurs- pretty sure the last thing you want to do is pay a credit card bill for money going to a guy in prison (even if he is a nice guy lol) Cut ties with this woman and stop contact with her. It's hard and it hurts but her life seems to be out of control and she is making really bad choices- there isn't anything you can do for her either. Take care of YOU.

I forgot to add:

1. change the locks on your place, so she can not come in and take what she wants when you are out and you could find YOUR things gone;

2. Change passwords to any bank accounts that are in your name so she cannot wipe them out by transferring money onlline. Be careful with joint accounts.

3. If you have a safe deposit box, close it at where it is and reopen it at a completely different bank location under your name. Any valuables in jewelry, etc., get into that new safe deposit box and don't leave at home until everything is settled way down.

4. Call the credit bureau and put a temporary 90 day or 6 months freeze on your credit so no new credit cards can be opened in your name (you can explain that you can't find your wallet and so you want the freeze on). If she gets desparate enough to get money to the prison inmate, she may try to open credit cards in your name to get cash from them to give to him.

5. Prison inmates are the very best con men and they practice it from behind bars. They con people out of money and woo women and do it so well. If your wife spends all HER money, that's okay, but it's not okay to use joint assets or your money.

6. Any credit cards that are in both names, get her name off and if the companies won't then get your name off--explain she has left and is involved with a prison inmate. You cannot risk her running them up.

7. Change all passwords on your computer, on your phone, on everywhere to ones that are difficult and that she cannot figure out.

8. DO NOT get on Facebook and talk about what you are doing or talk about her. Get off Facebook because it is the first place others go to check on spouses or to stalk them. Get yourself off the public media.

9. Listen to what the divorce attorney tells you.

You have 2 paths. You can either view it like a cancer you try to cut out and take lots of action with attorneys, bank accounts, etc. If your ex is really out of control and there's no bond left between you, I think you sometimes have to go that route.

IF there is still some bond left, you will save yourself, your kids, and your pocketbook a lot of money if you can work out an arrangement between you and her and file an uncontested divorce (again this assumes you can't fix the marriage). I do think with multiple guys, sexting, and escalating behaviors (prison guys) you should really think twice about any reconciliation kind of thing but if you present this as "you can be free of me to do whatever you want" you may be able to get a lot of agreement that doesn't cost $200/hour in depositions, etc.

I'm assuming you have kids. Doing the lock changing and custody and all will really take a toll on them and cost you both a small fortune. I worked with my ex and split things up, arranged custody of the kids that was better than the attorneys were saying was possible, and years later am SO glad I went that route. If you can do that you will come out much better, I think.

The anger you feel won't undo her behavior and most courts don't consider fault in dividing things up anymore. So it all comes down to, "How do I make this as painless as possible for me and the kids" - that needs to be the thought in the front of your mind whenever you make a decision in the coming months.

I dont' know what to say, other than that I would distance myself from her if I were you. I would be really worried about my stuff because of her being in contact with a prisoner. They have nothing better to do than think up new and different ways to con people, and they are probably dangerous since they're in jail. Obviously you can't control what she does, married or separated. But you do need to protect yourself, and any children you have. I would be very careful with who she lets be around your children if you have them. You do have rights where they're concerned. But I would attempt to cut her out of my life if I were you. She's going down a bad road, and you shouldn't go with her.

sorry guys we were married 13 years and she is a totally different woman these last 4 months from what she has been since i met her, we already have seperate bank accounts she cant inflict debt on me yes we have 2 girls 12 and 9, i cant cut her out of my life i have to deal with her becuase of the kids, but she is on a drastic downward spiral and i am confused. i think i just needed to vent or wander if anyone has had a similar situation

I would certainly protect my kids from any shady characters she hangs around with. You can make that clear to her. And you can get that enforced in family court if you have to. Other than that, I'm afraid you're going to have to let her live her life, as destructively as she chooses to. Just limit contact with her and keep the conversation to the kids only. I'm in kind of a similar situation in that my STBX is on a downward depression spiral. He can't see it, but others around him can. Ultimately it's up to him to get help for himself. I've tried for 25 years to help him, and I can't do it anymore. I just get sucked down with him. I used to be such a happy, upbeat person, and I didn't even recognize myself at the end of our marriage. So I keep the communication with him strictly in e-mail form. Our kids are older (17 and 22) so they choose when and how they see their father, which is about once a week now. They can't take him either. It's harder with younger kids because they want their parents to be a big part of their life, but you have the measure that against the damage that can be inflicted on them if they're around her and her degenerate friends. Ultimately we have no control over others; we just have to protect ourselves from them.

Wow--she's trolling for prison inmates?!?!? What on EARTH is she thinking?

Sorry--I don't have any advice, other than be there for your kids. Be the parent that they can look up to and rely on, 'cos it sounds like your STBX is steering her ship straight to disasterville.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))

It's great when we deal with a spouse who is cooperative and totally not crazy and we can work out things with them and have a cup of coffee together afterwards--gee that's so nice.

But everything changes when a spouse goes abnormal and instead of arriving with the car, arrives riding on the broom.

You get information here and as always, it is up to you to decide what you do with it depending on your situation.

If you read back through posts (I forget when the last one was), you'll find those where the other spouse cleaned them out. The spouse who gets cleaned out is shocked and never expected it. Sad but true.

Also, when a spouse moves out and separates, do they give you keys to their place for you to come and go there as you please? No, they don't Then why would you fail to change your locks as the other spouse probably has a key? Most do change their locks and it's not unusual.

Take care of yourself because no one else will do it for you. Although all this is confusing and painful and you hurt, you have to think about yourself and your kids.