Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Trying to rationalize or make sense of your ex’s comments or actions is purposeless and will do nothing but make you angry. So I have said numerous times that as cheated on or betrayed spouses, we must stop doing this! You will never find logic in your ex’s actions or words directed at you.
So what happened this weekend to make me stop listening to my own advice? My ex had the audacity to call me the “nightmare” ex. This comment coming from the man who cheated on me with a married woman and didn’t have the decency to ever come clean until I discovered it on my own. And even after discovering his affair, I still offered to him to stay in our house when he came back to PA. I continue to work on the house myself trying to prepare it for sale in May, 100% without his help. I never hired a lawyer for the divorce and we only used his attorney because I trusted him. BUT, I’m the nightmare ex. OMG!!! He illogically and irrationally accused me of ruining Christmas for the 3 kids of his married girlfriend (which would have been impossible because I have no idea what he is even talking about). Yet this same girlfriend lied to her husband, took the kids and moved them 1000 miles away from their father so she could sleep with my ex.
I let his illogical and irrational words get the best of me today. I had to talk to 3 different people today to get me calmed down. He is a sad man who refuses to look in the mirror and take any responsibility for his actions. He cannot be alone, which is why he waited until he had a mistress to leave me. Now he’s on match.com and I feel sorry for the first woman he meets because if she shows any interest, she is going to be stuck with a cheater, liar and a pathetic excuse of a man. But after having the discussions, I am back to good. I can’t and won’t care what he thinks about me. It is irrelevant. And now, he is dead to me.
no contact and i stole his Hard earned
money :) HUGS
Then, if you had a chance and opportunity to date a handsome, sexy man who in all instances better than your husband, would you cheat?
No.
I divorced my husband when I felt the partnership was not working for me spiritually, emotionally and physically any longer, split our assets 50/50 and left the relationship with everyone's dignity and integrity intact.
Any man who cheats on his wife, tries to screw her out of what she's entitled to and sets that kind of example for his children is not a man I would EVER be interested in, regardless of what he looks like, how much money he makes or what bullshit chemistry he's exuding at the time.
Any woman that does is a fool, because honey if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you.
Don't kid yourself.
You are right their opinion does not matter. Your strength will keep moving you fwd!
It kinda hurt at the time, but now I joke about it with some of those friends. :-) I'm pretty sure it was just her trying to make herself look better. In the end however, the people who matter to you will know what the real score is.
Hate to break the news to you but the success rate of cheaters making a successful relationship with their cheater in crime is like 2%. Her children didn't know of the relationship because if they knew they would talk about mommy's new friend to their father and he was in the complete dark about the affair! That's why my ex wasn't turned off...he didn't have to play daddy. He could arrive after the kids were in bed, screw her, leave before the kids got up.
And DITTO to what dandelion said.
There is NO excuse to have an affair. If you are unhappy, figure out why you are unhappy, close the door on one relationship before starting another. It is that simple. Please don't try to defend spouses who have affairs. It is inexcusable, cowardly, disrespectful, immoral, despicable, dangerous (STD's), thoughtless, (shall I continue...)
That stung, and this guy (the cousin) is a foul mouthed, chain smoking, sexist pig, so why should I care? I can only say that I know there are more insults being hurdled at me from his friends and family like that one. Part of stbx's passive aggressive pathology is that he's a victim, so those that believe his bullshit will always have to see me as evil because stbx is the nicest guy ever. "Victims" have to have "perpetrator", that's me, that's the role HE assigned me.
We all define our own roles, we just have to remember they are what WE think they are, not what others think they are. It's hard, for sure. Hang in there cleigh :)
Hire a lawyer to check things over before you sign anything. You don't want to get screwed over again.
-HUGS-