Please read "Chump Lady's" blog. She specifically talks about how to go NC. She also discusses "gray rock" a communication technique that bores the cheater to death- so he doesn't bother you anymore. Chump Lady is the only person on earth who can find humor in cheating. During my darkest days- her witty, straightforward writing made me smile.

I hope you can go to therapy or join a breakup Group.
They both will help a lot with the healing and Growing
process.

If you have had to do that with him before you married him
You really dodged a bullet. I would keep working on you so
you do not find another one like him and build yourself up.

Bullies, abusers and emotional manipulators are Not nice
people. They are people you stay far away From. I go to
Alanon/coda and that has helped me learn new and
Healthy ways and to heal from the Inside out, HUGS

Thanks! I'll definitely look into that :)

And yes I agree I dodged a huge bullet. He used to be so much more mature...I don't know what happened he just decided to do his own thing and it tore us apart and he knowingly did it. So I'm positive I don't want that. I don't deserve to be treated that way after how good I was to him.

Good job

I have been no contact with my ex and it has helped me
Heal a great deal. It is not a cure all though, IMO. Its really
So you can begin to detach and start to heal and not get
ReTraumatized If they are abusive or any other unhealthy
tactic or game playing, HUGS

Good for you...I have also asked for very little contact and everyday I feel like I can breath. I am also dealing with rebuilding my self esteem and discovering who I truly am. Keep going...remind yourself everyday that you are worth the fight. The only thing I would caution against is hate...it is an empty vacuum that sucks up all life. There were moments recently that I realized I hated him, but it doesn't affect him and consumes me...so I had to let it go. My only thought is eventually he will be only a person that I share my kids with. My hope is by the end of the year, things will look better because I will be better.

Congrats! I've done that too, its not easy, and you feel empty, and guilty, but its for the best. I lost myself on this relationship when it started to tear apart. I never realize I was suffering emotional abuse, until my cousin opened my mind. And now, I have trust issues, I feel guilty coz I left him when he supposed to need me, and sometimes I see that I hate him, because he ruined me, and now I'm complete hopeless, but at least I'm free. I can restart everything, and try to live again. It's not easy, but when you start to have no contact, you start seeing yourself again. Thats when you see the damage, but thats when you can start to rebuild yourself.

Good on ya!

Be strong, you can and need to do this. Speaking from experience it is the best way to let go and more forward. I'm proud to say that I am NC since Jan. 2016. Never thought I could do it and it was HARD, won't lie. After a couple of years of me always being the one to break contact I realized that he didn't want or need me in his life or he would have reached out. He always said he would call, text, blah blah......never did and now I know. Tough to learn.

You'll save yourself a lot of heartache and bad days if you keep at it. I set myself little goals to help me thru it. I would set a goal of NC for 1 day, then one week, one month, etc and it did get easier with time. These goals helped me during the dark days as I had something else to focus on.

Good luck, remember you can do this!

"Thats when you see the damage" - this is so true, especially if you've been codependent. You have to shut them down, emotionally, so they're no longer in the way of your thinking.

I'm just not in the mood to feel like I'm the bad guy in the situation and that my feelings aren't "real" or "significant" because he has none towards it all. I'm not "crazy" and I'm not accepting those negative comments, I know what he did to me and I know I'm hurt and I'm not going to just pretend I'm ok so he doesn't have to feel guilt or whatever his problem is.

Exactly! You've got this!