My anxiety is so bad. I feel like crying non stop.

Last night I went to my stbx's house to sort through our paperwork and do our taxes. The weather turned really really bad and I ended up having to stay the night. We talked a lot (not about reconciliation just about our futures as single people) and she let me lay next to her all night in bed.

Now today she went to work and I took the kids back to my apartment. We have been locked up in here all day. All day I have been sick to my stomach and so sad I could cry at any moment. I have terrible anxiety I cant sit still for more than a few seconds.

She finally called at 3:30pm just to see how the kids were, and then said goodbye. I thought hearing her voice would help but now I feel even worse.

I want to call her and beg her to come over and spend some time with us, I know she would if I made it sound urgent enough, but im starting to wonder if our "friendship" is causing me to not begin healing, or is making everything just much worse for me.

I want to stay her friend; but I need to find a way to get over 'us' too. She certainly is over it, so I only have about 3 months before she is moving on with dating and then I know I wont hear from her near as much or see her near as much. Then I will truly be alone with myself and my feelings. I know I should start that now so im ready when that day comes.

But its so hard to not want to talk to her or be with her when she is letting me.