Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Okay, so...my bf and I broke up a few weeks ago. I started calling him again even though I said I didn't want us to talk for a couple of months. We broke up because I found a profile he created on a dating website. He met someone on it and they had been talking by phone and God knows what else before I found out. Not giving anyone a hint or anything!
He has come over a couple of times this week to help me with just random things. Neither one of us are talking about getting back together or anything. But it's really weird...we are nice, friendly (even flirty, I guess), and are both uh...well, it's been a few weeks since we've "had any"...you know? The weird part is that I don't feel any love from him and I don't feel this desperate, profound sadness about that. He doesn't seem very interested at all in my life and the connection feels dead.
That's the sad part to me, is seeing that change in someone's eyes when they no longer look at you "like that". It's surreal. And I don't know how to prepare myself for what's next (moving on). I am actively out there too but I'm not really ready for dating. How can I start to mentally accept him moving on with other girls? How can I not let this tug at my esteem especially after having it beat up as a result of the relationship itself? I'm sorry if I don't make much sense. I don't really know what I'm asking. I just want to be okay with whatever is next. And I want to have faith that what is next to me is of greater interest and importance to me. Oh, and that it's good. Good would be really nice right now.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
~DHG
He has come over a couple of times this week to help me with just random things. Neither one of us are talking about getting back together or anything. But it's really weird...we are nice, friendly (even flirty, I guess), and are both uh...well, it's been a few weeks since we've "had any"...you know? The weird part is that I don't feel any love from him and I don't feel this desperate, profound sadness about that. He doesn't seem very interested at all in my life and the connection feels dead.
That's the sad part to me, is seeing that change in someone's eyes when they no longer look at you "like that". It's surreal. And I don't know how to prepare myself for what's next (moving on). I am actively out there too but I'm not really ready for dating. How can I start to mentally accept him moving on with other girls? How can I not let this tug at my esteem especially after having it beat up as a result of the relationship itself? I'm sorry if I don't make much sense. I don't really know what I'm asking. I just want to be okay with whatever is next. And I want to have faith that what is next to me is of greater interest and importance to me. Oh, and that it's good. Good would be really nice right now.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
~DHG
((hugs))
This experince will help you to become much stronger woman and next time around, you will be care full.
If what was next, was not of greater interest and importance to you, then you would be right back with him.
just sayin'
I suppose what's next is the rest of your life...and you have to make peace with the fact that he had obviously already started moving on when he advertised himself as available.
As I have said to someone on here before, selfish people have us believe we are in a commited unconditional relationship...having us commit our lives just to realise we are only rest stops for them to what they think is a better destination.
It is never easy to just move on without closure and you have to find closure in this time you have for yourself. Discover what YOU want from life and then decide what's best for the future.
What's next is acceptance...you have to believe that these things happen for a specific reason and you are ready to accept what life has to give. Never look at what could have been, look at what CAN be. The good thing about this is YOU are now left with the power to shape your destiny. We often believe we are and always will be a product of our history...although we learn from history, does not mean we have to continue on the same path.
You have the opportunity to decide the path you want to take and eventually end up where you want to be, not where you are expected to be.
Good luck
Breaking off all contact is hard, but that is what you need to do to speed up the healing process.
I made that mistake and was completely devestated finding out he had been having on line affairs on dating sites and not just one site many!!!!
Also makes me wonder ,if he had been the whole time ???