Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My husband has been a porn addict since we married. His ex ended it with him based on his porn addiction. He blamed the porn addiction on her disinterest in sex. I think she was disinterested in sex because of his addiction. We did not have that problem as our sex life was good, but he still turned to porn. He would tell me he was coming right upstairs after we watched a movie and I would come down hours later and he would be watching porn. Pathetic!!! I slept wih my cat lots of nights.
He is also starting a new business and works all the time. I got very limited attention so I asked him to move out last night. He agreed to a 3 week seperation. He would live at a friends house. He would just bring the basics.
I feel sick today but I know in my heart I deserve better. I a trying to look toward the future with a positive light, but it is up and down.
He does not see himself as addicted so I do not see any hope that he will ever change. His is a workaholic and a pornaholic.
He actually had the nerve to say that his business is not doing well because of my negative energy, after I supported him through school and after. Damn!!
He is also starting a new business and works all the time. I got very limited attention so I asked him to move out last night. He agreed to a 3 week seperation. He would live at a friends house. He would just bring the basics.
I feel sick today but I know in my heart I deserve better. I a trying to look toward the future with a positive light, but it is up and down.
He does not see himself as addicted so I do not see any hope that he will ever change. His is a workaholic and a pornaholic.
He actually had the nerve to say that his business is not doing well because of my negative energy, after I supported him through school and after. Damn!!
My stbx knew I watched porn sometimes and we watched it together sometimes. She also knew that I would go to strip clubs with my friends on occasion (maybe once or twice a year).
My posts here don't have anything to do with my views on porn or sex.
Cybersex Addiction Checklist
The Cyber Sex Addiction Checklist is a set of questions to help you see your sexual activity more clearly. It is an assessment of sexually compulsive or addictive behavior. A high number of YES answers may be a sign of some issues with sex addiction. After using this questionnaire, please consult a trained professional to discuss these issues further.
1. Spending increasing amounts of online time focused on sexual or romantic intrigue or involvement.
2. Involvement in multiple romantic or sexual affairs in chat rooms, Internet or BBS.
3. Not considering online sexual or romantic "affairs" to be a possible violation of spousal/partnership commitments.
4. Failed attempts to cut back on frequency of online or Internet sexual and romantic involvement or interaction.
5. Online use interferes with work (tired or late due to previous night's use, online while at work, etc.).
6. Online use interferes with primary relationships (e.g., minimizing or lying to partners about online activities, spending less time with family or partners).
7. Intense engagement in collecting Internet pornography.
8. Engaging in fantasy online acts or experiences which would be illegal if carried out (e.g., rape, child molestation).
9. Decreased social or family interactive time due to online fantasy involvements.
10. Being secretive or lying about amount of time spent online or type of sexual/romantic fantasy activities carried out online.
11. Engaging with sexual or romantic partners met online, while also involved in marital or other primary relationship.
12. Increasing complaints and concern from family or friends about the amount of time spent online.
13. Frequently becoming angry or extremely irritable when asked to give up online involvement to engage with partners, family or friends.
14. Primary focus of sexual or romantic life becomes increasingly related to computer activity (including pornographic CD-ROM use).
This test is used with permission from its author, Rob Weiss, M.A.
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http://groups.msn.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/20traitsofmalignantnarcissism1.msnw
The ones listed here seem extreme but for my ex it was right on the money.
My husband has watched porn and reads it etc, but he also takes it to another level...he goes to the strip clubs as well.
I think my problem with it is that he is sneaky and lies about it and after telling him how I feel about him going to clubs and that it hurts me and he just disregards and just comes and goes as he pleases...that's the hardest part.
No it's not a reason to divorce but it's the underlying points of yes them being selfish and out to please themselves whilst then like in my case (not just porn but gambling too when we have a family to provide for) he is emotionally abusive and makes me feel bad or tears me down.
Any comments on that???? Is that normal? Cuz he swore to me it was. He said it was a compliment to a woman if a man told her that she was like a porn star. But to me it was degrading and made me feel nasty. So...did the issue lie with me or with him?
How the heck did this get moved from Advice to Discussion?