Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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cisl4him 12/25/2011

I'm not sure what else to say except I am hurting. My husband decided he was going to come over and sleep over on Christmas Eve and act like all is well. he tried calling me "Babe". He asked me to take off his socks while he lay on the couch. I said "no, you have been dong it for 7 months, I think you can keep doing it". Then he said , with my son in the room, after I said "no". Thanks nurse Cissy, trying to make me look like a fool.

Then I had the perfect opportunity to go through his cell phone, bittersweet.
I saw sexual texts going to the woman I met the other day. Sick..... It said "bite me " and "or should i say bruse me". I can't believe I bought him christmas gifts. He has been trying to win me back for weeks and more so in the past two since I filed and I find out he is screwing some girl he met at a bar.

God help me please, god help me. Then when I confront my addict husband at 1 am, he starts yelling at me swears and saying "this is why I left. So I flashed him my breasts and said "see these, you won't ever see these again." then he says "come here" OMG. I know I should not have done that but i was so lost and upset.

I guess only an addict would turn the tables on me and blame me for his actions instead of saying sorry.

Well, the last laugh is on him, because I called the number and the girls boyfriend happen to answer and now he knows what is going on and said he will get to the bottom of it. Can't wait to see what happens.

I know I am wrong and acting like a baby and especially b/c I was unfaithful too but WE had reconciled and all that was behind us and his involvement with someone too and then he relapses and leaves me.

I want this hurting to stop. Thanks for listening.

deleted_user 12/25/2011

Sweet you told her bf. Also why did you let him stay over?

cisl4him 12/25/2011

I wasn't sure who he was, but he answered the number. I asked "who is this and asked if he new Bill McFadden and he said No but Merry Christmas. I hung up and text. I wish I could have a Merry Christmas but i found explicit text messages from my husband to this phone. He said he was going to get to the bottome of it. I wouldn't have knowingly told him but she forgot her cell and he had it for the day. I told him I was sorry. He is supposed to get back to me later tonight to let me know of the outcome. He said he was ok.

I only let him stay b/c my daughter was home from college and I did not want to have a big fight, big mistake. He is so manipulative. Can't believe I actually let him stay. My son and daughter do not know I filed for divorce for the 2nd time. My husband and I agreed not to tell them at this point even though they both want us and have wanted us to divorce for years .

deleted_user 12/25/2011

The one thing that keeps popping out of this post at me is "addict". Why is that not motivating you to stay away from him? Focus on that reality. Disease, financial destruction, mistrust, DISEASE, abuse, etc.

deleted_user 12/25/2011

D I S E A S E!!!!!!!!!

cisl4him 12/25/2011

Trust me, I have stayed away from him. I have not been contacting him at all or texting him. He just continues to try to manipulate me but it has not worked. He came by where I was the other night. I spoke with him and that is it. When i got up to leave he tried to kiss me and I turned me cheek. Now that I know for sure he is seeing someone, I won't allow him to touch me ever again.

deleted_user 12/25/2011

You let him sleep over.

Are you in NA or AA? You need to get some support in breaking this codependency.

He's an addict. You need to keep him out of yours and more importantly your KIDS lives. This is a horrible example for them.

You are all at risk emotionally and physically.....just focus on ADDICT and DISEASE.

cisl4him 12/25/2011

I slept in another room. My daughter is 21 and doesn't even live at home. My husband has been gone for 7 months and has only slept here about 3 times in that time. My son is 18 and lives at home. He and I have been doing really well for the past 4 months after the shock of his dad leaving and after my son realized his dad is messed up.

I only let bill stay b/c it was Christmas Eve, big mistake, however, God showed me what I needed to see so that i can continue with this divorce. Thank you for your concern. I am definityly breaking this codependecy. I have grown so much in these past months. I jsut cannot believe how mentall ill my soon to be ex is. Thank God I filed for divorce. I am not canceling our court date this time.

MTZ3 12/25/2011

as strange as it may sound, maybe this needed to happen, so you can see what he is doing, and help you move on...it doesn't sound like you did anything you have regret...I am sorry though, on the rather sucky timing...

deleted_user 12/25/2011

The fact that you are anxious to see how the call you made and the devastating news you gave to her boyfriend is going to turn out tells me you are WAY too invested in all of this. Actions speak louder than words, and it seems you're in over your head. I hope you can gain some perspective and peace of mind so you can live the life you deserve.

And I hope the woman's boyfriend managed to have a nice Christmas despite the fact that his entire world may have been carelessly turned upside down with one phone call that he probably didn't deserve.

cisl4him 12/26/2011

MTA3....Exactly...I am glad that I did it. I feel I have grown as far as the not texting constantly, calling, yelling, screaming. I had the Golden opportunity to see for myself what he has been keeping from me since he switched phone accounts b/c I was viewing phone bill. It was my viewing phone records that led me to his drug use and he left b/c he could not maintain his drug use b/c i was onto him. He switched accounts and gave the new phone service my phone number to contact for any bill related issues and I pay the bill but can you believe HE WOULN't give me the account password! I had to put up with bullshit to pay the bill b/c he didn't want me to know he was seeing someone or call his drug dealers.
I finally guessed the password and let him know but do not even care to view the bill. Now that I know he is or was involved with someone I am canceling my account and getting him off the plan.
Not sure if he will still be seeing this girl because her boyfriend is aware of the relationship because she forgot her cellphone and I called it to have a word with her. Can't wait to see what comes of Bill's relationship now.

cisl4him 12/26/2011

NEKAJ...yes...you are right he did not deserve that but it was not his phone to begin with, it was her phone that I called. She forgot it and he answered. This is probably the most dysfunctional thing I have done in a very long time i do admit.

deleted_user 12/26/2011

You had every right ringing the number and getting an answer.
Some can move on with no answers
others like you need answers then you can move on.
if you dont regret what you do then that is ok.
yes it hurt you
yes it was a shit time to find out.
Buit now you can move on xxxxxxxx

cisl4him 12/26/2011

Mandamoot...thank u...Truthfully I really don't regret calling the number and yes I can now move on with no reservations. He has no power over me and won't be able to even try to manipulate me b/c I see right through him. God showed me what I needed to know. I do feel bad for her bf but he seemed like a very nice man and I think he deserved to know. He really impressed me with his reaction and behavior. He was very calm via the few texts we exchanged.

thank u my friend.

deleted_user 12/26/2011

hey no problem.
I do not judge anyone.
We all have to do this our own way. good on you. I would have done the same xxxxx

deleted_user 12/26/2011

addicts aren't the only ones who 'flip the script' i have been accused of all the crap he did to me, i never could address any of his behaviors because he would say 'whatever' it was, was what i was doing and he has taught my youngest daughter to act the same way now that she is grown and gone.

not sure why they act that way. i used to be in awe that he could really be saying what he was saying and wished so many times i had a tape recorder going so he could hear himself. lol i even told him once he did that and he say NO you do that. simply amazing

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