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How to stop loving someone who doesn't love you

ac30fh3rtz
ac30fh3rtz

I've been dating someone for just over 3 months and we just exchanged the "love" word this weekend. I do love him but for the last month I have been journalling to myself about leaving because he doesn't treat me well and it hurts. I have written our break up letter a month ago, I meant to read it to him but when I come over he gives me some fantasy things could pan out if I just keep pushing through/gives me hope by kind of acting nicer in some ways but not entirely. When we are apart he acts his worst and it makes me depressed and even resentful. I want to leave but I don't know how to go about it. He ignores me most of the week if I try to text however I have already told him we needed to talk and he just joked and said "how much trouble am I in" and never replied after I said I only wanted to talk. We have never argued even when he has disrespected me and called me names this is because I don't like to argue. I don't even want to try to work things out at this point, how do I break up the easiest way and stop feeling mushy when I see him? this makes it hard for me to break up with him in person.

Yard_Eggs
Yard_Eggs
"I dont think this is working out. Good bye."

Then block and delete him on phine, text and social media.

End of story.
Yard_Eggs
Yard_Eggs
P.S. I doubt you love him, yiu are infatuated with the fantasy...
Emilys13
Emilys13
Sounds like you are dating a narcissist. I was in a relationship like that and then he ended up leaving me and moving on and I still cannot get over it. He still treats me terrible and I cannot break the cycle and stop talking to him. You are so brave to have written a letter. You need to just give it to him an cut ties. I know its easier said than done but you are strong for realizing you want out and that he treats you bad. Just remember you have choice between happiness and sadness. Be selfish at this time and do what makes you happy or will make you happy in the long run.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
You know this is not working out and you know you are just wasting your valuable time on someone who does not care for you. This is on him, not a reflection on you. Your previous post talked about your past abusive relationships. Are you still in therapy? I hope that therapy will help you to pick a better guy in the future. Good luck to you.
urbangardener
urbangardener
I think that when we start to value ourselves and love ourselves, then these people who are not good for us become people we don't need or want in our lives. Something about this person fills a need within you. Can you figure out what this need is? Being liked, being loved, having sex with someone? Is this the fantasy or is this the reality. He says horrible things to you. Is this how you want the rest of your life to be because at 3 months dating, this is his "best side" or fake stuff. By 12-18 months, you will see his real side. Decide to save yourself.
mlj6019
mlj6019
I can see your struggle to differentiate between your thoughts and your emotions. Some of our biggest problems come when we think with our emotions. It can get pretty irrational when that happens. I believe you know the right thing to do. Set your mind and your heart will follow. Just prepare yourself and stick to it. Best of luck.
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
I am sorry you are having to deal with this but, you can't make someone love you. I tried for 8-1/2 yrs. before I finally moved out. I loved her but, she finally confessed, she never did love me. This hurt me terribly because when we were dating in high school and in the first years of our marriage, she was my everything.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug ac..... Three months is really but a few weeks sweetie.... This is the honeymoon period

If he's treating you badly now run and don't look back and then maybe take some time to think about why you'd want to be with someone who's treating you badly

Gentle hug.... You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.....xo
furbabymom
furbabymom
Get while the getting is good! If he treats u wrong after only 3 months, time to end this! don't make this leap with someone u secretly want to break up with. U don't need to read him a letter. That's drama for the sake of drama. I st tell him things aren't working out. And find the one that YOU can be happy with!
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