My ex and I have been broken up for a while and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. I have survived cancer at a young age, I survived many other things in life that should have made me a lot stronger and capable of handling this but here I am..

I have read all the books, tried to do things for myself, made some new friends and decided on a potential new career change but everything when I go to sleep at night leads me right back to my feelings about my ex.

I made a list of all the reasons I am better off and all the pain he put me through but all I seem to think of recently is how much I wish I could be the new girl he is seeing. He met someone recently and their relationship seems to be getting more serious. All I imagined was him with this person and how he has already forgotten me. I am so jealous of her and I know she should be irrelevant to me. I keep seeing her as the one who will get what it was that I wanted more then anything. if there was a way to forget him and every last memory I have had I would do just that.

I am worried I wont ever actually move on. I went on a date recently and as wonderful as this person was I felt so much internal grief. I couldn't even focus on a word he was saying because everything in me just didn't want to be there. what if this is the feeling I always have around anyone new I meet? this feeling is so scary. I never ever thought another person could ever bring me to this level of misery.