Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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soulmistress 08/11/2009

I am surprised to find myself extremely angry and feel so much hatred with my ex..I never thought I was capable of feeling this was towards him..he was the love of my life..we did each other wrong but not in the grounds of cheating or hurting each other to the point wherein we can really hate each other----and that's why I am so surprised why I feel so much hatred and anger towards him...I've cut off all contacts and I and I'm very determined to move on..unfortunately, the anger seem to fuel a lot of strength for me to keep moving and leave him and our memories behind..I am afraid that when the anger subsides..I'll be weak again and would want him back..but I'm sure I never want to carry this anger in me for such a long time..I don't know what to do...or maybe I am just worried experiencing such strong negative emotion I never thought I am capable of? Anyone who can give me and idea if this is another phase of break ups?

deleted_user 08/11/2009

i ask a higher power to that anger away every day and i keep asking even tho i don't seem to be angry anymore. i hope that helps

Ghabbir 08/11/2009

u need to make peace wit urself forgive urself n him, i felt that every time i broke up wit my ex i was just angry wit him, n everytime i'd take him cos i neva let him go, when u r angry wit someone they still control u, u r still holding onto them n giving them satisfaction. think deep about everything bad he did 2 u and accept that he hurt u. from there u can find peace within urself this is for u to forgive urself n do it for urself to b in peace, its a process but eventually u wil b fine n moving on...don b afraid that's one thing that keeps us powerless if we fear...hope this helps..

deleted_user 08/11/2009

I feel angry too and it scares me, because I am not an angry person and have never really felt this way before. I usually send him e-mails or texts telling him off, so don't ask me for advice on what to do with it! lol.

I do find it is helpful to me to let it out, though---either by telling him what he is doing that is inconsiderate (stating facts only) or venting to my sister on the phone (or starting a crazy anger thread that pisses everyone off). I think that anger has to go somewhere. If I'm a little less angry, sometimes I ignore it and try to change my mood with music and dancing around the living room with my 9 yr old. Whatever helps....try different things, Hon.

deleted_user 08/11/2009

The anger stage is necessary as you walk in search for acceptance. Here is a link that might help:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358621-stages

soulmistress 08/11/2009

I guess this just came as a surprise to me...the intensity of feeling and anger..almost the same when I used to love him...I'm not really a person who gets angry a lot too so I'm just getting scared of what this can do to me..in the end..I just want to feel indifference towards him..so I can finally forget him...

soulmistress 08/11/2009

Thanks Z, that thread was really helpful...

deleted_user 08/11/2009

here is another one:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358611-7steps

queendy 08/11/2009

You are lucky that you can cut off your contact. Try to move on and every time when you think of him as you loved him, remember what he did and who he really is, and that should help.
If you find another love will be easier to move on, if not, you will miss the loving times.

deleted_user 08/11/2009

There are stages and anger is one of them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

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