Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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seventhdoor_nmw 03/14/2017

I am trying hard to find my solid ground again two months after discovering husband's 3 year long emotional affair and him telling me he checked out of our 23 year relationship long ago - was never really "in" in fact and does not want to be with me as my partner but wants to preserve some things about our relationship. Wants us to remain family and good friends. Has not made a move to leave the house but is distant and detached emotionally. I have been loyal and 100% "in" the whole time. For many years I shoved my own needs under the rug to keep up responsibility for both sides of this relationship because it meant so much to me. Now after two months analysis, in-depth discussion, arguments, anxiety, obsession, pain, sobbing, no sleep (all for me - he seems fine), I have to believe that I can make this okay for myself. That I will be able to live without him and regardless of how I'm feeling, I won't die. Not sure how to live around someone who I know doesn't want me - at least not in the ways I've wanted him. I'm distancing myself from him somewhat.. cutting back on conversation, keeping things light, trying to be independent regardless of how hard it is. Joined here a few days ago and it has been helpful. Just knowing I'm not alone.

sandybeach888 03/14/2017

Hi, I read your posts and I'm just heading out the door right now. I'll reply when I get home tonight. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and yes! you will move on and be fine. Chat soon x

movingon2016 03/14/2017

Wow, seventh. Does he want out? Or does he want things to go on as before yet this time with you knowing he's "out". Taking care of yourself is your responsibility since he is taking care of himself regardless of you. Maybe it's time you stop making sacrifices for him and start taking back your "power". (I just saw the Wonder Woman trailer and i'm all about my superhero power. Forgive me. ;o) ) Good luck and message me if you need anything.

seventhdoor_nmw 03/14/2017

@movingon2016 yes, this is exactly what I'm trying to do now - take some of my power back as the past several years have been very disempowering. I'm not trying to be gamey and I'm not manipulative nor have I ever been but I'm definitely reducing contact and checking my emotional reactions around him as a means of communicating that I am stronger than either of us thought and looking for a way to fix this situation for myself.

mirandac 03/14/2017

I will tell you i lived in limbo land for Too many years,
it almost destroyed me And what was left of my sanity.
He was not even looking at women until much later on.

Don't expect anything Decent or civil out of him. I certainly
didn't get much, it was His guilt and shame and his inner
demons.

Near the end we had these once a month circular arguments
that went no where. They went round and round, he could
Not hear me and i couldn't hear him.

I wish i could have Recorded them to hear it later on without
the emotion, i think i Was getting stonewalled and often gaslit.

When they are checked out and cheating Whether its physical
or emotional it does not matter which one It gets really bad.

I was lucky i had been i alanon for two years before he Left and
he had a tiger by the tail and didn't know it, HUGS

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