I don't know. I am trying to figure that out too. My poor kids don't know we're getting a divorce so what would they think when dad gives them presents and leaves to go to his dad's instead of spending the whole Christmas Day with them...

Mine know,they are ok with it. My son is 16, daughter 19. He's been absent so much him not being here seems normal. I need to summon my inner courage and push through this. Much easier said than done.
You just try to be as normal as possible, maybe you can make gingerbread houses with them or something distracting like decorating cookies - something to fill that void.

I would try to maintain as much tradition as you can. It's hard for everyone, and consistency often helps adults and kids. My stbx never purchased presents for the kids or his family, hasn't put lights on the house for years, and I can't remember if he ever decorated the tree. I've done everything for the holidays, and will as well this year. Unfortunately, I'm way behind due to divorce issues taking up considerable time. And I'm sad, and I actually said aloud to my dental hygenist that I wouldn't mind skipping christmas this year. But I can't, because it's not all about me. We'll all get through, somehow or another.

Yes you do it for the kids..it's all about YOU and your kids now. My wife pulled this shit almost 3 years ago after 24 years together and left me and our 17 year old daughter ..the first year was scary as shit but I pulled it off, the second was better and this one will be awesome. HER loss!! She left and I get the kids and the pets ...adios!

You and your kids are still a family. If you enjoy putting up a tree together, do it! This year, you might want to start some new traditions as well now that he's not in the picture. I know a lot of people going through a divorce get very depressed during the holidays. I thought I would feel that way too, but I am actually surprised at how good I am feeling. For the first time in many years, I am actually enjoying the holidays. I think it's because a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Even though he filed for divorce, it means the dog and pony show is finally OVER. No more pretending to be a happy couple. No more having to watch other happy families during the holidays and feeling sad. My family and friends have really come together to support me over the past few months and I am really feeling their love this year. I am also very excited about what the future holds for me because he won't be in my life anymore like a dark cloud.

So how to get through the days when you don't have your kids? I can think of a few things:

Host a small party or dinner for your friends, neighbors and family
Go to see a Christmas play with a friend
Volunteer somewhere
Watch Christmas movies and bake cookies for when your kids do return
Send out Christmas cards
Decorate your house

Instead of waiting for invitations, SEND invitations! Reach out to family and friends and ask them to do something with you. The first year is the toughest because it's all new and the pain is still raw. You can still manage to have a nice holiday though. It's just going to take a little more effort and finding a new normal.

You could try the old switcharoo...when things blew apart 2 years ago, I found myself facing the holidays with my two teenage boys. I really didnt know what to do. I didnt want them growing up as isolated hermits, but we simply dont have any family anywhere. So, instead of pretending our home didnt blow up, we washed dishes and served at the local homeless shelter for the big meals they put on there. It was the best thing we could have done. It took our minds off ourselves for a moment, and it felt really good. AND they sent us 3 lonely guys home with tons of leftovers. It felt really good to put the emphasis on others...and thus it was healing for us as a family. It ain't for everyone, but for me, it was a nice break from "trying" to get through the holidays.

I have done that in the past, this year I will probably be too weepy to do it.

Yes, absolutely, still do things with your kids. The tree, the food, all the rituals they enjoy that don't have to involve 2 parents. I know it's tough, it will be an act, but do the best you can for them. Hopefully, along the way, you'll enjoy some of it too. Last year I put on a brave front. By the afternoon, I was overwhelmed, I had a little break in my room by myself to cry and let feelings out. Then I returned as "normal cheerful xmas mum".

As your kids aren't very young they should understand that things are different this year but try to make it a good xmas for them. They deserve that. Soon enough, they'll be leading their own lives. Give them nice memories.

I will try very hard, I don't even want to get out of bed. Getting a tree and decorating is a happy thing and I am far from that

The science is so loud, I have never felt so alone. The tv helps as background noise but actually communicating with someone is something that can't be replaced

I feel the same way. I'm thankful we put up the tree before he decided he was done with our marriage. Getting out of bed definitely takes effort. Do you have a friend that can be on call when it gets bad? I have a list that I call through, but have one friend I probably talk to 8 times a day right now. I couldn't get through this without him. The kids have also been good about staying home more and keeping me company.

I think most of my friends are tired of me. This has been going on since May. I have tried pretending and not talking about it. Then I talked about it all the time. Because I'm not working now, my communication is limited. My son is a teenager so dealing with me is not a priority. My daughter is 19 and has her own life. I think I could get through it if I had someone to talk through it.

Reach out an talk. Nights were the tough part for me. Not wanting to call too late. The TV was a go to for me also. Get on a routine...routine bed time, go out and do things....and YES make Christmas plans with you kids. I did not have custody and I was the one that moved away after the divorce. (Divorced more that one time) and I regretted anything I missed with my kids were young. All adults now! Don't do that! You will build great memories together!