Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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HeaveToo 10/20/2008

For the last two days I have been fighting with a Blah feeling. It is a feeling of a lack of motivation and an overall feeling of what am I doing. I thought that it was because Saturday night I couldn't find any friends to hang with and Sunday I was just doing my own thing and really didn't have anyone around to hang out with either. I guess it is a feeling of loneliness in a way, or more of a social separation. I just don't find many people that I have something in common with and most of the people that I have stuff in common with have families and wives and here I am, all by myself.

I have gotten to the point where I am not desperate to be in a relationship. It would be nice if it eventually happened and I will admit that I do have a crush on someone (most of you guys know the back story on that) but it isn't like it is something I can't live without.

I guess that most of us that have been married for a descent amount of time go through this social separation when the marriage falls apart. You get so use to that life and the social aspects of that life that it probably takes a long time to recover from it when it is no more. I think that it may take even longer when you are in a more rural setting, like me, and you aren't the most social person anyways. When I am out in a crowd I tend to desire to be with a small group within the crowd of people that I know.

I feel like I am no longer accepted by people from my old social network because now I am single, yet I haven't been accepted by the people that I know that are single because I am new to this, relatively speaking.

Anyone else feeling like this or going through the same thing?

deleted_user 10/20/2008

I went through that stage, where I felt blah for awhile. I'd stay in and feel sorry for myself. I felt strange hanging out with my girlfriends that were married thinking they didn't understand what I was going through. Do you want to know how I changed that? I just forced myself to get out there, I started to ask co-workers to go out after work. I started to take people up on their offers if they invited me over to hang out with them even if that included me being the 3rd wheel. I realized my issue of being single and alone was my issue and no one elses. I guess the bottom line is Heave you are the only one to get over feeling blah. Hang in there, take care! :)

HeaveToo 10/20/2008

I don't feel sorry for myself...I got past that stage. I am not sure why I am feeling so Blah. It may be a combination of stuff.

It is like a roller coaster ride. Some days I am on top of the world but the last two days were just Blah.

Very strange...

chowgirl 10/20/2008

I think it's pretty normal. One of the books I read said the next-to-last stage of the grieving process includes taking an emotional tumble just before acceptance truly sets in. Like you, I've been feeling unmotivated and lonely for a few days, so this weekend I made plans with a friend, and just got myself moving around again. Have you looked at any of the Meetups in your area? I know a couple people who have been really successful with those. If you're just looking for people to hang out with who have something in common, you start off with at least one thing (the focus of the group) right off the bat.

Hope your day gets better.
Lyn

deleted_user 10/20/2008

I can related totally to you situation. I am having alot of up and down days, but I am doing my best to move through this stage and find the best that is out there for me. I am in the same boat as all of my co-workers are married and mostly do family stuff. I went through the same you did this weekend. I was not with my gf that I was able to spend the last month with because we are no longer together. It was tough and I still have downer days, but I like you are going to make it. Take care and you are in our prayers.

HeaveToo 10/20/2008

I guess that it doesn't help that I can't seem to stop listening to sad songs. Just can't seem to want to hear anything else

deleted_user 10/20/2008

If you get bored, watch this - It helps me get past my little life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXQhspVJKxY&feature=related

deleted_user 10/20/2008

This is easy to handle:

Step 1 : Buy a 45 lb bumbell

Step 2: Buy a Rope

Step 3: Stand on top of your vehicle

Step 4: Tie one end of the rope to the dumbell

Step 5: Tie the other end to your balls

Step 6: WHile on top of your vehicle, let go of the dumbell while the ends are attached to the mentioned items and parts.

YOu definitely will not have a lonely or blah feeling anymore. You'll be more preoccupied with other feelings.

SIncerely ,

Road

Always here to help.

HeaveToo 10/20/2008

The ultimate song that expresses boredom. Not sad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMikAeK8rL0&feature=related

deleted_user 10/20/2008

"How to get rid of that BLAH feeling?"

Get up and dance! Seriously, soory you feel blah. I get that way often, but I fely more blah when I was married than when I wasn't. I do more socializing now than the whole 12 years I was married to Mr. Anti Social.

deleted_user 10/20/2008

I know what you're going through it's plain and simple, feeling alone. It's such a bizarre experience to go from being part of a team to on your own. It's a huge adjustment. For me too when i get in the down lonely mode my mind heads into the future and I start thinking I'll be an old woman alone eating cat food. It's ridiculous but it snowballs. The other day i was in the drugstore and there was this little shriveled lady ahead of me and she looked so vulnerable and alone. I started thinking thats going to be me 95 with dirty hair and no one to pick up my prescriptions. For all I know the woman has 15 kids and 40 grandchildren around.

It sucks but its a phase and it will pass. With your personality you won't be alone for long.

deleted_user 10/20/2008

WOWSERS...long day at work and hit many wrong buttons. lol. Sorry for the typos.

HeaveToo 10/20/2008

So road...those were your nuts attached to that dumbbell that was on the roadside the other day...I see

HeaveToo 10/20/2008

Well...Kicked the un-motivated part and discovered why I was feeling blah..at least part of it. I hadn't worked out in over a week because of being sick and I finally got my lead butt up and worked out. It helped me kick the rut that I was in and now I realized that I have been eating bad again and I have gained a little of the weight that I had lost back. Time to get back at my goal...maybe the blah feeling was there and I just to knock my way through it.

deleted_user 10/20/2008

Uh, no. Road pwned you.

deleted_user 10/20/2008

i joined 2 groups after separation, the social singles club, and the hiking club. It helped lots. The singles were mostly div or widows, and they went out to dance every weekend. That was great, I wish I had done that earlier. Hope this helps...clubs worked for me, no need to drag ppl around, or worrying about fitting in

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