Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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lovelost74 07/04/2012

So I have been or should I say my wife decided that we should be seperated back in November of last year. I was totally shocked when she told me that she has not been in love with me for a while now and that she has been trying to figure out what to do. As everyone has, we have had our ups and donws. I was crushed but to make a long, long story short, how do you decide when to give up and stop trying to understand why or when to stop making an effort to be nice in hopes that the love you once had will come back? I am totally lost and feel completely alone and in desperate need of, not even sure what to call it. But I just feel like I need someone to talk too, watch a movie with, lay down and hold. I dont think she understands that not only did I lose the love of my life, I also lost my best friend and part of my indentity. I dont know who I am anymore and cant seem to get past trying to figure out WHY!!!!!!!

deleted_user 07/04/2012

the odds are probably pretty bad that she will suddenly be back in love again. you could suggest counseling to her to see what she says. but, if someone wants out, you have to let them go.

somehow, talk with your family and your friends. this stuff is hard and you will have to spend a lot of time with them because you have to have someone. when the wife is gone, a huge piece is missing. friends and family help a little.

post any time and jump in anywhere you want. we will try to get you through this.

deleted_user 07/04/2012

And don't forget... Get a lawyer!

fakeblonde 07/04/2012

My husband and I have been separated for 6 months, and he has not been theman I married for most of those 6 months (he suffers from bipolar). So I have lost him to mental illness, and although I get a glimpse of the swet man I married on a beach in Hawaii,mostly he isa very sick, paranoid, delusional, angry and abusive man. So I too am wondering when do I say "uncle"? Therapists & friends and family tell me to give up, he keeps begging me not to, then cussing me out. Anyway, sorry this isn't very helpful, other than to say, I know what you're going through, I know how you're feeling, and I wish I had the answer, but then I wouldn't be here either. Hang in there, you'll know what to do, pray and the answer will come.

deleted_user 07/04/2012

I feel the same way about not just loosing my husband but also loosing my best friend and the person I always want to spend time with. My best advice to you is to try to get yourself to understand that you aren't going to get the answers to your questions, and you some how have to get yourself to be play with that. What has helped me is looking back and knowing that while I did make some mistakes in my relationship, and there are some small things I wish I hadn't done, for the most part I feel like I did everything I could to make us work. Once I believed that I did everything I could I stopped feeling like I needed answers from him. And to be honest, the answers you get might not be what you want to hear and could cause you more pain in the end.

namaste02 07/04/2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOU6zhc0Xcw

MettaBhavana 07/04/2012

Wow, great son Namaste!

Totally agree with response #4.

Hang in there, it does get easier little by little with time.

MettaBhavana 07/04/2012

I meant "great song," not "great son!"

deleted_user 07/04/2012

It's pretty hard to comprehend when it seems to come from out of the blue, when your partner has been preparing themselves mentally and emotionally to separate- they have already had the time to deal with things and be settled in their decision to end things. You are at the beginning of those feelings and it's very hard to accept let alone trying to figure things out.
Maybe all you can do is look back and see what the warning signs were- she must have been unhappy for sometime now- did she try to talk to you about things? I don't think people just fall out of love over night. The same thing just happened to my neighbour- kids are grown and gone from home and he thought it was to be "their time" now- to enjoy the rest of their lives doing things together- his wife however had other ideas and just left him- he seems to be totally blind sided.

lovelost74 07/04/2012

Thanks for the comments but she has always been very good at hiding things. Before we got married she was hiding so many things from her mom and dad, which for me was odd because I was very open with my parents. Trust me, I am not perfect and I am sure that thier were things that I may have done to bother her but I never felt that she wanted to leave our marriage.

MettaBhavana 07/04/2012

Lovelost, that is true of my stbx as well. Because I'm such an open "what you see is what you get" type of person, it is hard for me to comprehend the extent to which some people are able to hide so well what is going on with them. It feels awful to be so blind-sided, like getting the wind knocked out of you! But with time, it starts to sink in and you begin to adapt and get your equillibrium back. One day at a time...

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