Don't make someone a priority who makes you an option.

Sounds like you have been optioned out.

First of all, I'm sorry you are going through this painful situation. I too am dealing with a person who doesn't know what she wants. But to say that you want to die and that there is nothing to live for, is nonsense. This means that your sole purpose in life is to live for this guy. What about before you met him? Did you want to die?

seek out someone to use as a mentor. they can help you put your life on solid ground. your ex boyfriend is a lost cause. it will do you a lot of good to get out of there and back on your feet. there is free counseling available from priests and ministers and social service agencies. they can help you through this hard time.

you are already strong enough. it may not feel like it, but it is true. please seek out someone to give you very good advice. if you ask specific questions here, we will try to advise.

I think your ex has been hanging out with my ex as he also said he wanted me to change and be happy and then he might be able to like me again.
SOrry you are going through this. Do you have any freinds or family that you could go live with? Are you in counseling at all? Is there anyway you could get time away from him at all just to clear your own head and for your own sanity as well?
You cant make someone want you, and its not fiar that he is treating you this way.

Hi,
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's not easy to hear but time heals the wounds. It sounds corny but it's the truth. Many of us have been where you are now. Death is never the answer. You're better than just having a cheating boyfriend. I know it hurts but it will pass.
Sending you nice thoughts and hugs,
John

I am no expert but I am going through a real difficult situation as well. Been doing a lot of research and reading. I would suggest that you try to move out immediately. You are way too dependent on him, and that is why he is able to take you for granted. You need boundaries.. you are your own individual, with a lot to offer, not only to a bf, but friends, family, society. I think the reason you feel the way you do is because you are not happy with yourself, it makes a break-up or what your going through that much harder. Maybe you feel like you give him money because you live with him and his family. Get out of that situation, I want you to not have to feel like you owe him anything. I know it may seem scary leaving because it feels like your leaving him, and leaving the relationship. But right now your relationship is crap.. you don't deserve to be treated that way. Plus, by doing this, you can also start playing a little hard to get. Its a psychological thing. Your too easy for him right now. I want you to start treating yourself better. Tell him that you agree with how he feels, and this is not working. Get out, then don't talk to him for a little while. Let him miss you. During this time, start thinking about your own life. The things you like, your career, etc. No one is saying this is going to be easy, but you have to try. Take baby steps, keep working everyday. Everynight, before you go to sleep.. imagine how a great bf would treat you.. and slowly start believing that you will meet him one day. Bottom line, the real issue is more about how your not happy with your own life, more so then this relationship. The only way to build up your confidence is to start working on yourself, as if your collecting gold nuggets. Each nugget represents something.. like having a nice body (so workout alot!), feeling indepedent cuz you have your own place, having a job u like, having good friends, etc etc.. Collect enough of those and I promise you, you will be sooo strong! I hope this helps, I really wish the best for you! I know how painful things can be, I am going through it right now myself.

Distance helps, please move out. Yes you will miss him, and will cry. It is better to miss somebody who is not there and cry for who has no sympathy.

I moved to a new house after our breakup, and it was easy, since there was no memory about us in the walls.

I missed him for years, when we were under same roof, I used to cry, but he didn't have enough empathy to wipe my tears. That is more heart breaking.

Please do a favor to yourself and find a place for your self and use NO Contact rule, until you are somewhat recover emotionally and feel happy about who you are, not he makes you feel good.