Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Just wondering how many people have experiences where their stbx is NOT paying temporary maintenance, as has been agreed upon by the lawyers?
We had a joint meeting at his lawyer's office on Monday, and when I left, my lawyer indicated that things were settled, and that he should be putting money into our joint account by the end of that day. Well, it's three days later and there's nothing there. I don't expect anything to happen in the next 3 days either. He will just do what he wants when he wants, screw any orders.
With my part time income, there's not enough in the account right now to pay the rest of the month's bills - the cable bill (tv is his addiction) or to pay the $251 minimum on the joint credit card that he solely uses. Never mind a wedding check I wanted to give my neice for her wedding this Saturday.
Of course I will tell my lawyer, but I'm wondering what other people's experiences are. By the way, his lawyer is fed up with him, so stbx I'm sure feels persecuted and the victim, as always.
My ex was ordered to pay half his pension, which was automatically deducted. Don't you know he called the payroll department and told the there had been a "mistake" and had the deposit intercepted . My lawyer dragged him back before a judge who told him if he tried it again he was going to jail.
He had a year to pay me my half from sale of the house. Back to court we go.
They hate paying, especially once the divorce is final.
Make sure he understands that you will take swift action.
Needless to say I am not OK with any of that. I too will be apply for spousal maintenance since his salary is high 6 figures (I was not before because I felt like a loser taking anything from him) and i am applying for child support.
Let me know how this goes because i'm going to be in your position soon.
Do not trust them. Everything in writing.
I don't care how well you think you know them, you will get screwed.
Seperated. He did play games after he did not
Get his way after mediation. There was enough
money to ride it out. I called my lawyer and she
Contacted his. He was furious to be called on his
Games.
Now if i was broke It would have been a hardship it
was getting there. The bills were twice what i made
a month so I needed money from him or it ate at
the balance.I basically paid all the bills for six months
i Figured that into the settlement more or less.
He wanted me out of the house into a rental, He
started drawing his money back after his checks. He
Did not pay rent he had a hidden credit card only.
Everything else went thru the joint account.
We did not go to court, i hope your divorce
moves along. It does not improve the longer
It goes on. HUGS
This is temporary support, and he STILL LIVES HERE! This is to pay for the roof over HIS head, the food HE eats. The cigarettes HE smokes (some day they'll be the end of him) and the gas in HIS car. That's why I'm afraid he'll consider bankruptcy and just slither away, off to bask in the sun somewhere. He's not paying his own way, forget mine and the kids. I'd actually love to see him spend a day or two in county lockup! He'd lose his baseball coaching job and position on the baseball board of directors, for sure! Then he'd have nothing. Actually, I should remind him of this consequence, it may be the only thing that will move him.
If he's not paying now, wait until you're divorced. Thats why I say show him now because otherwise you'll never get anything.
If he finds a another sucker, I mean girlfriend, he's REALLY going to resent paying.
After the divorce, my lawyer said payments could be set up through the courts so I don't have to call him when he doesn't pay. It's not a matter of - if he doesn't pay, it's - when he doesn't pay. I just call the court then at some point, I'm guessing after a certain number of late or missed payments, I could be paid directly from his paycheck. My lawyer had started legal temporary support (pendente lite) but was persuaded by his lawyer to stop and instead go this other route with the written agreement. My lawyer agreed, thinking this other route would be quicker and cheaper for me. Not so apparently. I think we'll have to go to court for pendente lite support, which will cost me much more in legal fees. His disregard for the whole process will not be looked upon favorably by the judge.
I asked if I could just get a lump sum, or larger portion of the house, because I know the crap he'll pull, but the answer was no. I'll be tied to him financially for child support for the next 6 years or more, until the youngest is out of college and financially able to support himself. I'm supposed to get lifetime alimony (which I don't *want*) because as with most things with him, it'll probably not be worth the fight.
pre decree and settlement because of his actions. It would
have caused a S**t storm if i did it so i rode it Out after both
lawyers were notified. It was the business and personal acct
Together. We then would have become even more adversarial
Which would have been bad. We still had a veneer of civility.
I was glad when that part was all over and i moved out and
Out of town. Its a strange feeling your spouse is now your
Biggest and worst enemy.
I know your situation is different and you have children
And you are staying in the house.
Hugs
Those three things i can attest to the rest
Is a gigantic rollercoaster of emotions and
Feelings. Just getting thru the divorce with
Any sanity left was huge. The healing does
Begin afterward. The constant financial fights,
The lawyers, the legal bills. It was too over
Whelming and soul sucking to face where we
Were at. The peace afterward was well earned
And deserved.
Hugs
My healing and growing journey is still
A work in progress. My heart and soul
Still hurt. This was a man i trusted with
My life and me and he turned on me in
The last 13 years, he is someone i do not
Know, understand or like. HUGS