Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So my boyfriend (practically husband, we decided we were married, just didn't have the legalities or ceremony yet) slept with another girl 4 nights ago. We broke up 3 nights ago. He's already out dating and partying, like what we had didn't really matter to him at all. I know that it meant something to him, but when he screws up royally like he did, he just gives up, PARTY TIME. "Might as well have fun" is his motto. Meanwhile I'm crushed. I even cried at Sizzler with my parents. And I don't know where to meet people...I'm 32 F, don't like the bar scene, or dance halls...and my work is a public place, but it's VERY family oriented... pregnant women with strollers is the norm. And the major problem is I don't even have a vehicle. I had to move back in with my parents, my truck is all messed up, the van HE was letting me drive broke down last night.... So not only do I feel like a putz moving back into my parents, but I gotta borrow the car too. Anywho, this has gone way off the subject... The question remains....How long should I wait? part of me wants to go out and date someone to spite him, but I hate the whole rebound thing, while the other part just wants to hide in my parents basement and play games on the computer or type discussions in support groups. what do I do?
It's only been a couple days.
The thing is this though, there is no answer. You have to start working on yourself. Don't worry about him(easier said than done, I know), he will do what he will do and that will speak to his genuine character. My STBX did the same.
Take counselling, learn about yourself, reach out to loved ones, make you healthy in heart and body and all. Then you date. Noone can know the answer to when that should be, maybe not even you.
I want to start dating, whether it's right or wrong remains to be seen.
I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. That first week is a bitch. So is the first month, and the second, and the third, and so on. It gets easier, and it gets tougher, and there will be hope and hopelessness and craziness and the whole shebang. All you can do is keep going and trying and failing sometimes and succeeding sometimes and learning as much as you can.
But for me, I'm not looking to "hook up" with anyone for a very long time. I say do what your body tells you to do. If it feels right do it. If not don't. Listen to your heart and be true to yourself.
You might be wrong, but you'll be like, "I think I should at least dip my toes in the water." I mean, seriously, life is all one big guessing game where you have to be learning about yourself and other people constantly.