Sorry, I really don't know the details of how serious your relationship is with him. But it does seem like you should be able to call him and ask him how things are going.

Thanks Mam,
I don't know the details of how serious either apparently. Maybe I just poured my heart out and he said all the right things just to say them.

Sniff sniff.


Lee

You said you haven't heard from him in months, but then add that it's been 5 days since you last saw him and called him. So do you mean to say that he hasn't initiated contact with you in months? Not a text message, email, nothing?

Sorry, I have been seeing him for months now... is what I meant. It has been almost a week now since I last saw him and called him, after a big long talk about what we want in life, our dreams and goals, our sexualualities, etc. It was like major breakthrough and the good kind or so I thought, and then he runs away.

The dude is not ready; pop him in the microwave for 3 minutes on high and see what comes out =).

Could me any number of things:

1) He got overwhelmingly busy;
2) He's got intimacy issues;
3) He's just not that into you (sorry).

Are you guys exclusive? Because if you're not, going a week without hearing from him isn't that bad, I don't think. If you are exclusive, refer back to the list above.

It's probably time to just talk to him about this. I seem to recall you expressing similar concerns a while back.

We didn't agree not to see other people, but we both said we didn't want to.

You know what I'm afraid of? I am getting used to being single and that I might not be able to tolerate living with a husband. Is it possible to get too comfortable with being single? I think maybe he is, no one to answer to, no kids to get ready for school, etc etc. He refers to himself as a very typical man all the time, is he trying to tell me he is selfish and not willing to give up a lot of things for family and children?


Lee

That's interesting.

I think you should explore why you think being a "typical man" involves selfishness.

To me it just involves a love of beer, boobs, and belching.

Sorry Frank, I don't know exactly what the typical man is??? he just said a few things to make me think he is not wanting his daughter to live with him full time (take her to school, homework, dinner, bedtime etc). I think he would IF he HAD to, but he is happy taking her swimming, to the park, bday parties, fun stuff on the weekends. Makes me realize he may not be so keen to the idea of my two little ones 5 days a week.

There could be a number of good reasons to explain his behaviors...or not.

You need to have another serious talk with him. He too may enjoy "single" life and be feeling pressure. The most important thing is to communicate with him BUT no pressures. If you pin him to responding a certain way, you'll hear what you want, but there may be no honesty in it. Good luck.

If he doesn't want his own daughter around, he's not going to want to live with your kids. Sorry.

Thanks Frank, it always takes a big slap in my face for me to realize these things. I didn't want to say it or even think it.


Lee

i think he is looking for something more serious than friendship, but less serious than a commitment. he is not ready and is scared that you might fall in too deep for him.

as for being single, there is nothing wrong about being single. if you're happy just being by yourself, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. a lot of single people tend to be lonely mainly coz of what others think about them, which really shouldn't be the case.