This is devastatingly hard. There are many of us here who were together for a long time when for whatever reason our spouses decided to leave. If you can get him into counseling with you, that would be great. If he won't do that, then it will be more difficult to try to salvage the relationship.

I hope that he comes to his senses, but if he doesn't hang out here with us and you will get lots of support, advice and understanding.Surround yourself with people who care about you and understand what you are going through. Journal here. Post on the boards and read the posts. You will find that you are not alone.

You just have to take it day by day, many people use harsher words then what their actions show. Either way, you need to make a decision for yourself on if you are going to continue to try to take steps in reconciling, or realzing this might not be the best thing for you.

We grow older and what once was something that was good for us, isnt always as time goes on, for many reasons.

My marriage endin was a shock to me too. Thought we were happy! The fear of being alone can be overwhelming and financailly-things can get UGLY in a hurry. I know firsthand! But you have to be strong and KNOW that you cna take care of yourself. We do not need a man to take care of us. Men are nice to have around and can make life easier, but its no use depending on him to take care of you. Take it one day, one step at a time. It does get better. This is my second time around D, so I know things may be dark right now, but there is light & life at the end of this tunnel!!

You are not alone. My hubby of 24 years left me for a 28 year old with two kids. Then he came back home to reconcile and then he left again. I had him served with papers and he moved back in. Spends a couple of days with her and comes home to sleep in another room. He tells me he would rather live here as friends so we don't loose the house and everything in it; but that I need to get out and date. I'm madly in love with him and have been since we were 14 years old. I have no money now for a lawyer so I'm stuck. I took 20 AmbianCR sleeping pills the other night to end the hurt; but it didn't work either.

This is a REALLY hard time for you. My advice is to get some counceling to help you deal with the day-to-day realities and do it NOW.
Seek help from GOOD friends and relatives, too. If you are a believer, go to your clergy. Reach out to others who can help you.

I think that most people would tell you to kick him out of the house. If he isn't going to be a husband and father, he shouldn't be able to live under your roof. Find other ways to get the money you need to live there.

My husband left me for another woman after 43 years of marriage. I know your pain. And, after he told me about HER, he stayed in the house for another month. That month was pure hell. I kept hoping that since he hadn't actually moved out, that he would change his mind. Didn't happen. He emptied the house of his clothing and personal belongings while I was gone for the morning visiting our daughter.

In retropect, if I had know for sure that there was nothing I could do change his mind, I would have kicked him out the very day he told me about HER.

Be so very good to yourself right now. Take care of you and take care of those children the best way that you can. You WILL get through this!

Love ya,

SallyJo