STOP seeing him. AT ONCE!!!!
You WILL NOT heal seeing him, talking to him, emailing him, texting him...etc...
I made the same mistake for 5 months now and have paid a heavy emotional price. I so wish I had gone no contact back then. I found out the truth Sunday, and wouldve been so much better off knowing the truth instead of stupidly seeing her and helping her out. I feel like a fool, but am definitely on a better path to healing and forgetting her.
I emailed her and told her Do NOT contact me, do not even respond to this email me. I called her a few choice words and told her how disgusting she is (banging our daughters boyfriend's dad who is 10 years younger than her and makes about $12.00/hr with 4 kids from 4 different women.
You cant control the ex. Just IGNORE and NO CONTACT and focus on you. DO IT. Its the only way or you'll keep yourself in agony.
**HUGS**

If you're sick of hating life do something about it. As you stated, you have the power to do something about it. I understand what it's like to not want to let go. Sometimes you have no choice. You can't make someone want to be in a relationship with you. You previously stated that he told you he can't forgive you for cheating. He's already made the decision to let you go.

The fact that you recognize your power suggests that you're not back at square one. Setbacks are a normal part of getting over a breakup. You said that you were doing better in June and July. Go back to doing the things you were doing then. Hopefully you'll be on an emotional upswing soon.

i know sometimes people don't want to hear it. but you need to let him go if you ever want to feel better. you are hurting yourself so much more by clinging on to the past. i know folks have said this to you in the past. and i also know you won't do this until you feel ready. but if you ever ever ever want to feel better, you have to let go of him, move forward, forgive yourself, take baby steps every day if you must, but let him go. sorry you are having a hard time, we all do sometimes. it is not easy for anyone, but there is hope ahead. big big hugs to you.

I am sorry, Brooklynn, but only you have the power to make you feel better. If you want to feel better you have no choice but, as happymama has already stated the ONLY way for you to make yourself well and happy is to let him go.
As kbb says you also have to have NO CONTACT with him.
You have to love yourself and live for yourself.
Good luck, I really want you to find happiness.
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

It's difficult to let go but even more difficult to hold on. You are regressing and not progressing because you see him on and off. The physical manifestations of your pain will never go away and the pain will only linger unless you completely cut ties and deal with the loss. Easier said than done I know.

I like to put it this way. I'd rather deal with the intense emotional pain of a break up once, however long it takes for these feelings of loss, hopelessness, grief etc to subside RATHER than adding salt to the wound over and over and over again by hanging on to dear life in a dead end relationship.

I was in a dead end marriage for 13 years and was afraid to let go and felt obligated to stay. We all want love and companionship. My stbxh did ,e a huge favor and pulled the plug. I am dealing with the pain. I will never go back.

We deserve peace of mind and happiness. Emotional pain is the worse. You have to take care of yourself and know you deserve to be happy and not waste your best years in a sinking ship like so many of us have. It's hard to bail and we want to do whatever it takes to stay afloat, but at what cost. You have decide what you can tolerate and can and cannot live without. Hugs

Transitions 73, you have hit the nail on the head - I'm in simlar circmstances. When the pain gets intense and my mind wanders to "what if we try again" I recall why we split in teh first place - can't go back to that and be eternally unhappy - at least this pain is shorter in duration - at least I'm hoping it is and everyone here says that is so. Hang in there everyone!. A quote i heard once said "when your going through hell, don't stop, keep going".

You wrote: "But I don't want to let him go" - my dear that is where your real problem lies. Until you come to a place of acceptance - you are not going to start making more firm progress. While you continue to see him, you will keep going back into a hole.

We do not let people go - THEY LEAVE US - they chose to let go - and we have to accept this and be at peace with it. Any deviation of this will only serve to torture you. You must not only stop seeing him but stop all contact with him, ENTIRELY. Someone who's been gone over a year is unlikely to come back and you are wasting precious time you will never get back.

Now with regards to your health and your weight loss - You have to start loving yourself more than you love this man. There is not doubt that a breakup makes us ill and if we don't take control of our situation, things can get worst. Is this person so important that your health and state of mind doesn't come first to you?

Does it ever get better? - YES!! - but if after OVER a year you are having relapse, it hasn't gotten better because you aren't pushing yourself to cross the fence - You are very likely at this point inflicting most of your pain - I am sorry - don't want to be harsh - but you need to press harder - if you aren't attending therapy, try it, it might give you that push you so much need.

Best wishes.

As heartbreaking as it will be you must cut ties with him. When someone starts to effect your HEALTH there is a serious problem. You can't give someone that kind of power over you. You must put yourself first and take care of YOU. I encourage you to look into CoDa... I think you might benefit from it. Once you are able to really let go you will find happiness... in yourself. Then, you will be ready for a healthy relationship. Best of luck to you my dear. Hugs.

Honey, I feel your pain. It has been a year for me and I lost a lot of weight and that is not good. I was forced at work today to spend time in a class with him (despite my pleas to my bosses). I got a pit in my stomach and a knife in my heart when I saw him. I did not engage, I refused eye contact. Working here is killing me, but damn if I can find another job. I need distance between us. We have too many mutual old friends and immediate coworkers.
Sorry, that became all about me.

This is damn hard work, but We Can Do It. One baby step at a time.
Hugs,
Amy

I went through a divorce last year. It was final in January. I lost 8lbs in 4 weeks and I normally am 115lbs so I was way skinny. Fast forward our divorce was final in January this year. I move-able to buy a cute home, kept 90% of the friendships, kept the dogs, got a decent settlement and now am starting a new job. But, I am so tired at the end of the day. I found out because of the stress I blew out my thyroid and am anemic (probably from not eating half of last year). I would say go to your doctor right away and at least get on a vitamin routine. I have been dating someone for 11 months now. It probably was too soon, but it did help the pain. But, I still am lonely and when I have an argument with my boyfriend, it feels like the world is crashing because I don't want to be alone. I hate it. I spend a lot of time still with a pit in my stomach. I think it takes time. You are better than you were a year ago. Realize that. And realize grief comes in stages and waves.