After 25 years are u sure you're ready to date? It hasn't been that long since he left relatively. My ex wife left 18+ months ago and I don't feel ready to launch into another relationship, I'm not sure if I ever will after my 24 year relationship. You really have to give it more time and not look for someone else to make you happy. Work on yourself, join a gym that's what I did, physical activity does wonders and you get the great reward of losing some pounds which was a nice benefit. Stay busy so you're not sitting and dwelling on the negatives. I also started some anti depressants and low level Xanax which helped with coping.

I believe it gets better when we allow ourselves the time we need to grieve & mourn (the outward expression of grief), when we do our inner work AND we fall in love w/ourselves FIRST. They say it takes 1-2 yrs for every 5-7 yrs of the relationship to heal. And that's ONLY if we're doing the work.

Jumping from the frying pan into the fire is, at best, a temporary, distraction. (It's not even a solution.) As I said in my comment in another post, it's not fair to the other person and it just postpones our pain.

In order to have a healthy relationship w/another person, we must first have one with ourselves.

kbb gave some good advice. In addition, do volunteer work that you enjoy, find (or go back to) a hobby you like. Do things w/friends and groups. But until you're healed, dating is not helpful.

When we don't do our work, we end up bringing all the 'junk in our trunks' into the next relationship.

A lot of people think someone else can make them happy. That is completely wrong. The ONLY one who can make us happy is us.

We can't look in other what's only inside of us. Married 25 years, yes, that's a lot, so I can see how it would be so hard to start over. Sounds so difficult. But as the others said, give yourself time to heal. Sit with your sadness, sit with your solitude (there is healing in solitude), focus on you, nurture yourself back to life. You aren't the only single person out there - it's so common to be single these days - it's on the rise. Is better to be single than in the wrong company if you ask me. Also, there is a difference in being alone vs lonely. You might want to reach out to friends or meetup groups, things that would distract you from the urge of dating.

Dating sites is the worse option b/c you aren't dating people who know you and would care about you - these are strangers that won't understand or care about you, your grief, etc. I wouldn't say they aren't a good option, but not now, perhaps later down the line when you have fully recovered.

You mentioned that you are overweight, perhaps this is the time to try to become active, that helps distract our minds from our issues. Locate a local track and go for walks, come around nature or join a gym.

Good luck.

It's Blind Faith that will take you forward. The answers so far are spot on. Have some trust when those who are healing are sharing their wisdom. Honest. also look up Melanie Tonia Evans. Good luck!

It does not matter that you overweight. A lot of men likeboverweight women. I was overweight at one time and not skinny now. I actually had more luck in relations when I was overweight because men scared of skiny women think they need much money. Just do not try hang on person and be sure that you are gorgeous woman. Men who do not like overweight women will not try to communicate with you anyway so who communicates is alright with your weight. If some ass will come and say you are too big send him to search for skinny women. There are plenty of men around who like overweight women. In fact there are many men who like only overweight women. There are plenty of younger men who like older women. There are millions options you have to be avare that you are desirable for some people and do not be shy to search for such people. If you run by mistake into someone who does not like way you look or your age just move on do not even waste your time or attention on them.

you been in marriage too long so forgot how to flirt.

Not surprising that long term with friend did not work out. He may be your friend but he also the type of player that hunts down insecure owerweight older desperate women. He was not planning to live with you from the beginning. That type of men just want woman like you who are in desperation so she would treat him like god and afraid to loose while he will play like he is supervalued man and you are nothing. Father of my child is like that. I usually do not have make up on, dressed without care and look desperate in general so sure enough he tried make me lucky was hitting on me but after we started having something he tried behave like he makes me huge favor. Unexpected for him I am very secure about myself so when he tried to sqy that I am obese older and so on I send him in ass and told that there is tons of useless individuals like him around. And that is true. Obviously he did not like that and understood that he was played so he is so mad at me that he does not even want see child to take revange. Not as I care I have relations with someone else. I was not going to marry him anyway. If I needed him for marriage I would got him easily. He said I am evil and insensitive. That is right because men like that pray on sensitive women in desperation. I do not feel bad about getting what I wanted from him. I am middle aged woman so I needed child anyway. I did not even apply for child support because I do not need be dependent on him. He probably would wish I would. He will or play on my terms or we will not play at all. He was shitting brain to many women so he got what he deserved. Once he figured that he ran into wrong woman he was angry as hell but who cares. Should not looked for easy victim that is inexperienced older woman with low selfesteem with problems in long term relationship. Be shark not pray and you will have what you want. That your friend and online buddy which is basically same kind of man do not worth even suffer about. Step over and forget.

kbb and mytrue colors gave great advise - you have to love yourself first - love yourself within, inside and outside. Sometimes our own insecurities reflect on our actions and people don't like insecure people. Confidence and a sense of humor are always attractive in a person and it doesn't matter how old you are or how you look. We all understand how it feels to be lonely but I do agree you need your time to heal before you start a relationship with somebody else.
Good luck and stay strong.

I agree with everyone else...work on yourself before trying to date.

I, too, was left after 24 years of marriage and couldn't EVEN imagine having dated so soon after he left. It took almost 2 years before I was "healed". I had a wonderful therapist and outside of work, I attended bible study and went for a lot of walks. Plus, it just took everything I had emotionally to just get through the divorce itself (a year and a half).

Please take the time to heal and love yourself before venturing into the dating world again. There are more and more single people over 40 than ever before, so thinking you will be alone forever may not be true. I met my dh online only a month after my divorce was final and I was 48 and thought I'D be alone forever.