Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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jokiwhau 01/05/2015

This shouldn't be so hard but I am really struggling, so any advice you all have would be great.

My divorce is over, and I am ready to date. In fact, I have been on a few dates and have met someone who I want to continue seeing (thank goodness he also feels the same....lol).

My problem is telling my kids. They are older - 22, 19, and 17. The 17-yr-old still lives with me for one more year. I know they are going to be upset that I am seeing someone else, but they are all (almost) adults and should understand that I don't want to be alone forever.

How do I approach them? Has anyone else had to deal with this yet?

Thanks for all of your help! (((HUGS)))

needafriendplease 01/05/2015

I know exactly what you mean. I've been on my own now over a year and feel I'd like to meet someone. But I worry what my children would say. Just like you. They are around same age as yours. Someone has also asked me out. I'm obviously nervous after coming out of a controlling relationship. But I feel I need someone apart from my children. I think I will keep the person away from my children until I know he is ok and I feel I can trust him.
My advice probably would be , take it slow and see what happens.,drop a few hints around the children to see how they feel.,you may be surprised what they may think. But like you , I am feeling like you are.

charliegirl29 01/05/2015

Just let them know that you yourself are readyto dateso eone and would like feed back from them.

charliegirl29 01/05/2015

I say this because older kids i think want to feel you trust their opinion and its important that they get to know straight up what is going to be in their furture if not their present situation.

kbbcoop77 01/05/2015

My kids encouraged me to date. They saw how miserable I was for about 7 months before I went on my first date. Ultimately I wasn't ready to make any kind of commitment, still not after 10 months. But they were happy for me...you might be surprised. I think our kids want to see us happy. My daughter is 17 and lives with me..my son is 26 and kept texting me for updates hahaha ..

refurb 01/05/2015

i think it comes down to whether your kids are ready for you to date
and that is hard to figure

mine are turning 15 and 17, and are definitely not ready, i'm not either so that makes it easy

in the long run, i think that kids want to see you happy & still feel/know that they are #1 in your heart

it is not healthy to live through or for your kids but as a parent, i think tone should be "constant" for them

utterpain 01/05/2015

It would be weird if my parents had told me when they were "ready" to start dating (I was 17 when the divorce was final). I noticed my mom was going out a lot all dressed up, as was my dad. It was no big deal. I didn't ask, they didn't tell. I think I would have been upset, though, if either parent was going and spending the night with someone leaving me at home alone, or having a significant other hanging around the house while I lived there. Neither parent introduced me to significant others until a ring was involved.

jokiwhau 01/08/2015

Thanks so much everyone! I really appreciate the feedback. :-)

deltone 01/26/2015

When was your divorce finalized, and have you had time to reflect on what went wrong, and have a list of what is important to you at this stage in life (am not talking looks, sex, etc) and focusing on that?

If you are recently divorced, it could just mean infatuation is what you are feeling and the thing between the legs is what is doing all the thinking, and a need to update facebook status and make for good posts

You don't want your kids seeing you get into a slump because some guy played you just for sex

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