Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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macgunderson 11/15/2010

Tomorrow 11-15 is my only daughters 18th birthday. I have not been allowed or physically able to celebrate any of her birthdays since she was 15. She won't answer the phone or email from me. She hasn't talked to me since last September and then only to ask for a ride which I gladly did. I can't stop crying long enough to write this. She no longer is my child. I was supposed to have had visitation rights but her father talked her out of them. I didn't divorce my children, but I had no money or job and no relatives so I had to leave her at her dad's house because he got everything. It nearly killed me to leave her with him, but as always I gave him way to much credit. I never, no matter how much I hated him, would have allowed the kids to not see and talk to their dad, but he rules them. And I am nothing anymore. I just ceased to exist in his eyes and anyone he knows. When my daughter was turning 16 I was in the hospital having my 3 rd operation in as many months. I never got to celebrate with her because I left the house to get adequate care and he never allowed me back in the house. I had Breast cancer and had a mastectomy, so now I am damaged goods and he doesn't want me any more after 18 1/2 years of marriage. I am 58 years old and can't get a job. Very soon I will be on the streets.

deleted_user 11/15/2010

I am very sorry for the way they are treating you. What an awful thing to do considering you've been in this battle.

I hope once your daughter gets older she'll come around for you. I didn't always get along with my daughter either, wasn't untill she turned about 20. I Hope the same for you.

Hugs to you.

deleted_user 11/15/2010

deleted_user 11/15/2010

Hi mac,

I suspect that in time your daughter, and your son, will come around. I also expect that they will see their father for the man he is when they gain a little autonomy in the coming years.

Keep trying to communicate, as the others have suggested.

You have so much going on. I'm overwhelmed just reading it ,so I can't imagine what it must be like to live it. Try to focus on one thing at a time, starting with the basics.

I would suggest that you look for resources in your community that can help you until you're able to work, or find work.

Take care of yourself, first. One thing at a time, one day at a time. You will be okay. Look at all that you have been through! And you're still here and looking for support. That's an accomplishment.

Keep posting. I'm glad you called attention to yourself!

Hugs.

lori47 11/15/2010

Yes. Stay in contact. Even if its just texting her and she doesn't respond. Teenagers are tough. Hopefully one day she will grow up and want a relationship with you. Sending you hugs.

deleted_user 11/15/2010

Bumping this for Mac, who could use some advice and support.

Wilo 11/16/2010

I too am very sorry to hear that you have to endure this sort of pain from this unnecessary trial in your life. Like you, I had to go through the same thing. Although it's been two years now since my daughter stopped talking to me, I told myself a few months back that I can't hold to that struggle anymore. It went easier the following days. Today she talks to me if I see her but only to a minimum. she won't start the conversation, though she said hello/bye when I saw her a few weeks ago. One week ago I saw her and asked her a question. She answered and seemed interested and even followed up with another answer. So there is hope. It will take time. Having your child step out of your life is very difficult. For me it was like my daughter committed suicide and I had to understanding of why or that she was bothered. I used to have a great relationship with my daughter until her mother and I split up. Please don't give up hope. Please don't give up hope on yourself. Please be strong, courageous, and have faith that everything will work out in time. One day when she grows up a little more, she will come back to you. I always send my daughter text messages to say have a nice day even though she never responds. I want her to know that I still lover her and think about her and miss her and care for her. Take care of you first and have faith.

deleted_user 11/17/2010

what i dont get is that all these billions that go to charity where the hell are they............ arent people like her and many others who simply cannot do much as illness take over.............

why should these people be given grants that will put their dignity back in order. /. ..............

i dont get it........... why nobody gives grants of 10,000 + dollars that cover max 3 months expenses these days......
to avoid horrors like not having enough to see ur kids which is not a luxury .............

i mean they are more concerned with Malaria etc..... which is noble, and great but i never hear about the locals who are suffereing.

i think soon they will be healthier than us.......

as their food is all natural,,,,,,,, and soon they will have the basics ....

here nobody bothers .............

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