Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been separated from my husband for over a year now. I am having the hardest time , forgiving him & letting go. I instigate arguments with him on a regular basis & I know this is because I'm still very much attached to him. The attention & response back is my payoff even though it is negative.
I was completely crushed when he left & I know that he had an affair & is still with her although he denies it to this day. I loved him very much & even though I dont believe I still do, I miss our life terribly at times. The holidays made that even worse.
I have read a lot in the past year & have been a counsellor, so I know all the theory of forgiving, letting go & moving on but I just cant get there.... If anyone has any advice, I'd really love to listen.
I want to move on & let go... I just dont know how..... :(
I was completely crushed when he left & I know that he had an affair & is still with her although he denies it to this day. I loved him very much & even though I dont believe I still do, I miss our life terribly at times. The holidays made that even worse.
I have read a lot in the past year & have been a counsellor, so I know all the theory of forgiving, letting go & moving on but I just cant get there.... If anyone has any advice, I'd really love to listen.
I want to move on & let go... I just dont know how..... :(
YOU MOVE ON when you decide that you aren't going to give your personal power to someone else.
YOU MOVE ON when you decide to love and respect yourself.
YOU MOVE ON when you realize that pining over someone who doesn't want to be with you is senseless.
YOU MOVE ON when you learn to be perfectly happy and content relying on yourself and never "needing" anyone else in your life to be complete.
YOU MOVE ON when you realize it's their loss because you are the one person who wouldn't give up on them.
YOU MOVE ON when you start hanging out with friends, picking up some new hobbies and focusing on self improvement.
YOU MOVE ON when you see the past as an opportunity to learn and grow.
YOU MOVE ON when you forgive them because hanging on to anger and hate will only serve to make you bitter and keep you down. Forgiving them breaks the chains that bound you to them and lets you start your life anew.
YOU MOVE ON when you realize that they are/were/& always will be a liar and you really don't have that much respect for them after all.
YOU MOVE ON when you realize the man/woman that is WORTH crying over won't make you cry.
YOU MOVE ON when you realize being alone with yourself is better than being 2, 3, or 4 and alone.
YOU MOVE ON when you finally realize you'll never get what you want from them.
YOU MOVE ON when you finally, maybe for the first time in your life, fall intensely, madly, and deeply in love with the most wondrous creature in the world....YOURSELF - and you realize it takes ONE HELL OF A PERSON to be your partner - and the liar, and sneak you have been wasting your time on - IS NOT THAT PERSON!
YOU MOVE ON when you finally realize that how long it takes to heal is entirely up you....
YOU MOVE ON when you realize the key is that you CAN and WILL MOVE ON. :)
I've done a lot of reading and praying about it, and I've received lots of good advice here. The forgiveness is not so much for them as for yourself. It's the process of letting go.
At some point you just have to do this. As Pasta said, the resentment, anger, etc. will eat you up inside. Don't allow that to happen.
I'm angry with my stbx, but also pity him. He will never be happy. I don't wish ill will on him (okay, maybe a little-lol), but he took his problems, demons, and vices with him. That has helped me to let go. I'm finally coming to a place of peace in my life.
Good luck, Pam. Forgiveness will come.
sometimes I say love is unselfish, I am happy for him being happy, well, just kiddin, that doesn't work, the pillow works best...
Still hate him...
My priest says it wasn't meant to be, that God has other plans...
I ask why, he says, God's is trying us to give us the best in the end... so I am looking for the next one, which is better than my ex... and thinking that I could have been stuck with my ex for the rest of my life, I look at this as an opportunity for happpiness...
doesn't help when I am alone, and that "special one" is not in sight... but what the heck, at night, we are free to dream... so, after the tortures session to my ex is ended, I imagine myself on a cruise, next to Brad Pitt, no guilt, I am a free woman...