Rudy, man I hear you loud and clear, my divorce went final March 2011, been a single parent since August of 2007.

Each person has a different coping mechanism, to this day, I have not found the one that keeps those memories at bay, but I have found a way to stifle them a bit
First suggestion, get away from memory makers, especially holiday memory makers. The TV is horrible, with all the holiday shows, movies advertisements etc. Go to a movie, preferably and action packed adventure flick, absolutely no chic flicks, turn to sports or nature, go fishing, but above all others, do not look through pics at home, it just makes it harder oh and stay away from any booze. Just a few things I have found to lessen the hurt over the past 5 Turkey Days alone. And dude, remember this, 365 days in a year, the ones that are considered holidays are for rejoicing, celebrating etc. Do not let a single day make a month of sorrow. things will lessen and get better my friend, life, it goes on. Be very thankful it does.

Nice suggestions, Tossed...
Each holiday becomes a battle because my Ex keeps changing the "game" my situation is so different from yours, , but holidays can bring on the worst of emotions.

The only other thing I might add to tossed's list would be to try to be around your friend's more. Make plans with them and start new traditions with them. "it's okay if they are "anti-holiday" Just something to take your mind off the feelings for a bit.

I found that starting some new traditions worked well for me. While I still hosted Thanksgiving in this home, the guest list was decidely different -- and quite refreshing, actually -- and turned out to be a lot more fun that the "old" way.

I also discovered that volunteering (serving Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter, for instance) goes a LONG WAY to making you feel less sad by putting your energy into something positive.

Time is the great healer, and you can't rush the process no matter how hard you try. But it WILL get better! I promise it!

i'm actually having a hard time this year as well.

the irony is that i am an event planner. i am paid because i have a refined skill set of showing enthusiasm for celebrations and holiday festivities.

at work, i am the pinnacle of a celebration. and i am very good at what i do. i go to work everyday, with my hair done, and my outfit together with smile and polish

and (at least for a while, since ex kept trying to get back into life and has messed with my head) i drive home everyday and weep. i do. and i am in bed hurting. and as i posted recently i've been having night terrors. but i get up the next day and put that smile back on my face and coordinate celebration after celebration.

i was supposed to work tomorrow, but job cancelled yesterday. i've been invited to a few different groups, but declined. so tomorrow, i will be alone. which is what i want i guess. i could go elsewhere if i wanted.

the fact is i am deeply saddened. and i am looking at other disconnects in my life and feeling like a failure. feeling like a loser. i know that i;m not viewed that way, but its how i feel right now.

i think of where i was last year, and how i was with ex and his wonderful family who had just lost their father the month before. i was the strength for them. i helped cook and clean and support and now i just feel a void.

its the holidays. lots of people feel that way. you are not alone.

I'm going to cook a chicken and rent movies and take a much needed break. i should write in my journal.. consider doing that. it really helps.

hang in there. we are in this together.

JennyMe........I feel like you. Lost. a giant void. alone. and I can so be you guys who feel all alone. I used to love Turkey Day thru jan1 for I planned and planned and cooked and cooked and decorated and helped groups out (not a professional at all). But I loved it. Notice the past tense. Now, it is a day to get through. No more. No less. And I will be so relieved when Jan 2 comes. I will go to my friends to keep my sanity but other than that nada. I do cry a little extra these days.

I am separated for two weeks now..... I just cried in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. Time........................ That's all I can say. Time will heal us.

I know how you feel. what is it about the shower? Its like all of my sadness hits me in the shower. One thing that has helped me is that when I start to cry or think about my ex, I just stop myself. I tell myself not to go there and I shake it off. It has actually me helped over time. I know that my sadness will never fully go away, but stopping myself from losing control of my emotions is the only way I can go on with my daily life. Today was a hard day for me too but I made the decision not to cry today. Sounds silly but its getting me through today. It may be a different story once it is time for bed. I hope it gets easier for you.

I was doing OK up until a few minutes ago. Had my kids early, but now I'm without them and sitting alone in the bedroom doing nothing. I know that over time new things will happen for all of us. Some things will be better as new traditions arise and some will still leave an empty spot because someone (or a lot of someones) will not be there on a day where family means a lot.

Maybe time will heal some of the wounds, but for now I completely understand the ache you are feeling. I wish you (and everyone who is hurting) all the best today and through the holidays coming up. We CAN all get through this.

Hi Rudy, I'm so sorry you were cheated on. There will be times when memories draw you back and please fight those memories and keep moving forward. Tell yourself that in time, there will be another person for you and that you have learned valuable lessons from your first marriage. It's okay to break down because it hasn't been that long.

If you can keep yourself busy, maybe swimming at a gym, working out, give yourself time at the library because it helps to make you more rounded and interesting to another female.

The saying may be times heals all, but truthfully it's what you actually do during the time that works towards your healing. Many hugs and take care.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions, luckily I made it through Thanksgiving but not unscathed! I'm mexican so towards the end of the night my family started playing tear in my beer music and I had to call it a night, but other than that it was ok!

I spent this helliday completly alone,I made myself a small turkey and the fixings and I made a vow to just love me.it was not easy but one day and remeber everyone has their own problems and thats all they think about so just think about you hold your own hand and know you are loved.

mcshep53: I think that was extremely wonderful that, despite being alone, you made a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Yes, "holding your OWN hand and knowing YOU are loved" is a wonderful feeling! It is KEY to getting beyond a broken relationship -- I have learned that you have to LOVE YOURSELF all BY YOUSELF before you can expect anyone else to love you the way in which you deserve! Hugs to you...xoxo