Welcome,

First, I'm sorry that you have to go through this but it will get better. See if you can get a lawyer thats not too expensive. You may qualify for spousal support and that should help you out. Keep up your search for a job, don't give up.

Thanks so much NewLife. :)

hi everthing is fine!
I am sorry you are having a hard time and are having to go through this.

many hugs and welcome!

Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. You seem to be doing everything necessary to heal. Hugs!

Hi. Divorce is usually a difficult journey, but take it one small step at a time and it is manageable. There is even happiness again.

I was scared myself when the process started. It's terrifying to think of the unknown, what life will be like without that person.

I'm glad you're here to talk with us and that you are opening up. Nice to meet you as well

I can't give you any legal advise. Feel good about yourself we are stronger than we think, you do what you have to do.
You seem to be focus on your weight, hey I'm no toothpick and really that is the least of my worries. It's what's underneith it all that matters and when you get to a better place it all come together.
Be strong for you!.

This is going to be a process to go through. You're going to have your good days and you're bad days. Eventually the good days will outnumber your bad days. Until then this is a great place to talk, vent and even laugh.

It's baby steps, one step at a time, one day at a time. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself. We're sorry you're here but glad you came. Welcome.

I would suggest getting a free consultation with a lawyer. Good luck through this crap...

Welcome to our group, (((everythin))). I am so sorry for all that you are going through. My ex left me when I gained weight also after using medicine to save my life, so I hear what you are saying. It was devastating to my self esteem, but 3 yrs later I can tell you that it was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I lost a lot more than weight that day he walked out. I lost his demeaning comments. I lost his judgment of me. I lost his controlling behavior. and I gained so very much after he left.
It did not happen overnight and it won't for you either, but I am here to tell you that something very good can come out of something very bad.
I was 52 when all this started for me and it was hard, but I handled it and you will too. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You reached out to others and that shows strength and recognition of your needs in your life.
Gather your supportive friends and family close to you at this time and stay with us here. Have a consultation with an attorney so that you know your rights , and in time this will get better for you as it did for me and others that have stayed here to let newcomers know that you can survive this and heal..
We put together a manual for newcomers and I hope that you find something in it to provide some comfort at this awful time. Big healing hugs, Kimmee

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/2816539-manual

Everyone - I am a divorce attorney from California so I have no knowledge of Florida law. I agree with the others - a consultation with an attorney near where you live is a great idea. He or she will probable tell you or give you a list of documents to pull together - get those together as soon as you can.

Helpful things such as
--the deed to properties and any mortgages
--Bank statements, check registers
--Car or boat registration
--stock or brokerage account statements and any stocks or bonds you have
--retirement account statements
--tax returns for the last 5 years
--current paystubs for you and your husband (or the most recent you have
--Any information you have about your employment benefits and your husband's
--frequent flyer mileage or honor programs statements
--information on any other assets you have
--Copies of credit card statements
--copies of the most recent statements for any other debts you have
--a listing of your current monthly expenses - look at your credit cards and bank account check registers for the last six months and average expenses for a start.

Make a list of what you would like to have- property, debts, support, fees.

Make a list of any questions you want to ask since people often forget things when they are nervous.

This is all useful information and there may be more information your attorney would like to see. Documents are always helpful to attorneys - the more relevant documents the better.

I am adding to this information I try to always give new people to help them - it is a compilation of information from several of our members:

One of our newer members posted wondering what a few terms meant so let me try to help:

Nabbing - just a little game - on non-serious threads some of us try to get the next round number like 20 or 30. Sometimes, on a thread that veered into six, someone may try for 69 - it's just how we feel.

Trolls - these are people who invade DS and don't really have a serious issue - it's hard to tell for new people but here are some general guidelines:

a) They have recently joined DS
b) no hugs, friends, photos, other groups
c) repetitious posts with the same hardluck story (ie, David yesterday)
d) for women, typically really huge breasts in their picture; guys are usually impossibly handsome
e) you will see some of the longtimers (ALC, Kimmeee, Frank,
Veech, and others) jump on the person

Banning - the person is deleted from DS and can't post anymore

Ignoring - there is a feature on a person's profile that allows you to ignore that person. That means that you will not see that person's posts.

A lurker is someone who is behind the scenes - he/she reads the threads and posts but never or seldom does any.

STBX= Soon to be ex
fucktard - well that one's easy, same as sbtx

OP - I've seen OP stand for "Other Person" when used in the context of a marital affair or "Original Poster" when used in the context of a message board thread.

MIL - Mother in Law
BIL - Brother in Law
SIL- Sister in Law
OW- other woman
OM - other man
PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder

Somce information from Kimmeee: (one of community leaders)

Privacy features.
Go to my account on the left side of the screen below your profile. You will see provisions for changing your privacy and who sees what you post.
You may pick friends only and only friends will see this or you may pick Ds members only. That mean anyone that has a ds membership will be able to view your profile and see your hugs. If you choose everyone, people will be able to google you and see what you have written.
If you use the journal feature you may want to make them friends only.
If you want to chat with anyone, you can do this but you may get many requests from Ghana asking for money. Just end the chat, and report it to us. Report any inappropriate sexual overtones in a PM or chat to us with the member name or to the admins using the abuse link.
You may Set to friends only and this will cut down on who can contact you.

The Community leaders for this group or CL's are
ChiTownBear, Chrurop, and myself. We can answer general questions and we help to limit trolls.

If you receive a Private message or PM that says something to the effect of I saw your profile and I really like what I see, they send you an email to contact them. Please forward that to one of the CL so that we can ban that member.

If you have anyone show abusive behavior toward you in a pm you may use the report abuse button at the bottom of each post and report them to the admins.

If you have general questions about the Rules of the Road or The Terms of Service, that is here.

http://www.dailystrength.org/help/faq


This is a manual for newcomers. It has tried and true ideas from all of us that have had to walk this new path.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

From Patti:

I started to write this in reply to someone else but decided to make it it's own post.

Wake up. Force yourself to get dressed.

Reward yourself with a cup of coffee or tea. This is a big accomplishment. (Thus the silly posts on here debating which is better.)

Then force yourself to keep your mind on something else. This is VERY hard. (Thus all of the silly OT topics which are really much much more ON topic than some people realize.)

Reach out for support....Everywhere. It will probably hit you hard when some of the people that you thought would be supportive won't be. And some of the thoughtless comments will have the power to send you into a dark hole. So come on here and tell us all about them. Chances are someone's heard the same thing, or worse, and can help you throught them.

It will also surprise you the people who will be supportive. I lost a ton of weight, and while buying some clothes, the cashier sympathized and remembered going through the same thing.

Talk, talk, and talk. Talk it to death if you have to.

And also come on here where we understand that sometimes you want to talk about anything Except what's going on. (Thus all of the Other OT topics, that really aren't OT at all.)

Some of us got hurt badly by abuse, some by infedelity, some dealt with alcohol/drugs, and some are going back to work for the first time in years and years. And a lot of us go through issues with our kids.

Take a chance and post. The OT stuff gets tons of responses because so many of us are trying NOT to think about it all, but don't let that fool you. This is a divorce and breakup site. We're all in different stages of it.

Hugs. And sorry that you're here.

And from our wonderful Z:

Welcome to DS. I'm sorry for your pain. We know that drill all too well and it is so sad to see someone going through this hurt. Here are the links that a fellow DS member, PGamble, put together. We all care. It's time roll up your sleeves and start taking those necessary steps before we MARCH MARCH MARCH. Do your part and we will walk beside you and you should seek counseling in addition to your daily strength. Godspeed.

http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakup...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://dailystrength.org/help/cris...

http://www.hud.gov/homeless/index.cfm

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...

Best wishes to you,

Lynne

Wow. I am amazed and just SO grateful at the outpouring of support! I'm overwhelmed. :) Seems I really DID find a great place! I've been on DS since 2007 but just recently joined this divorce support group. What a good group of people you have here. My heart is warmed by all the replies, and I"m also thrilled at all the information given in some of the replies. You guys are not only friendly, but organized too! Hugs to all of you. Big time hugs! :) ....oh, and THANK YOU! :)

welcome to the group!

Welcome to DS Breakup's & Divorce Sorry you had to find us, but glad you did.
We will be here for you. To listen to, to cry with, to laugh with and even be bizarre with.

Hugs to you honey
Chin Up - Stand Tall - Be Strong
Viv

Welcome to the group!