I haven't been on this site in about 4 years (3.5 maybe???)
For anyone that is in a new and fresh break up, I want you to know that it does get better. I'm proof. The pain lessens each day until one day you've forgotten what it felt like to be that heart broken. The bitterness and mourning fades into joy. Good days will happen.
Anyway, thanks for clicking in and reading.
I had a major break up 5 years ago and two months ago I got re-married to my best friend.
About 7 days ago my wife had a mental breakdown and told me she needed to stay at her friends place for a while while she got helped and works on getting better.
We weren't fighting, she had been really depressed for about 3 days before left. I tried to be as supportive as I could, but a little to late I suppose.
We've had previous big ups and downs before and had actually almost broken up. We went to counselling and things had seemed really great. We have been getting along quite well I thought.
I understand why she needed to leave and I'm happy for her that she's getting help. She's been going to therapy, no drinking or drugs and she's been doing yoga daily.
I feel blamed. She keeps saying that she cannot support me and my children emotionally or financially. I never asked for either. We had decided together that I would work less and stay spend more time with my kids and taking care of the house. This was even her idea. I was gainfully employed at the time. So we did. I told her that I would get a job if she needed me to at any point. (I was working part time, so I was still bringing in money too)
Two months later she snaps. Blames it all on me and just bales! End of the month with rent about to come out and she leaves me here financially holding the mess.
She said she still loves me and doesn't want to breakup and that she just needs to get better. I believe her.
Right now I'm feeling really hurt, abandoned, angry. So angry. Angry because what am I going to tell my kids! Angry because they deserve stability, not "will our step mom bale on us when things get tough".
Angry because I have abandoment issues and feel really abandoned right now.
Hurt because she left.
Hurt because she slagged me to her friends and they literally hate me now! Even if it were to work out, I could never be part of that friend circle anymore.
Hurt because she is getting support from two of her ex's and not me.
Right now I don't think I can get over the hurt and am contemplating divorce. At the same time I know she needs support and I don't want to push her over the edge if I tell her that. I don't think she'd care to be honest. I don't think I would if she were to break up with me!
I've already started the grieving process. It kicked in when she told me Sunday night.
I've given her space. I haven't been texting her except on occasion to say hi.
I don't know what to do. Divorce has been on my mind for the last few days. I don't need to be supported by her, I don't want to feel judged all the time and I want some stability for myself and my kids. Life was easier when I was a single dad and it has gotten over complicated with her.
Any advice would be appreciated!!
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