I do okay (not great) but okay when I don't see him (there are good days and not so good days), but he visits on Saturdays to see the kids and it still kills me! He acts like it's just a normal Saturday (in fact today he fell asleep in the recliner while he and our son were watching tv). I have tried to encourage him to structure his time with the kids (take the kids for an outing, play a game), but it ends up being just time hanging out. It feels so normal- like it would be any Saturday and it makes me so sad to realize that this isn't just a regular Saturday, but this is how it will be from now on. I hate that I am still so torn up on the inside over him (particularly because for the most part he has been a terrible husband- and I should be leaping for joy!). I think one reason this is so much harder is that for the most part, we have been very amicable since the split/ he has really tried to be nicer to the kids and me- and I have always appreciated and enjoyed the "good Jim"- it's evil Jim that needs to be gone forever (unfortunately, they come as a package deal!!). Isn't is bizarre that I have to get divorced to have the relationship with my husband that I always wanted (minus the physical part, of course!)? Oh well, I am trying to stay busy and out of sight- when the baby is a little older- I think I may even plan to leave when he comes so I don't have to "hang out" with him... YUCK- I truly hate this process!

Thanks for letting me vent!! I know brighter days are coming.
Best,
K