So my stbx has finally fallen off the cliff. He was recently diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder (which explains much of his behavior in our marriage and since)... he slit when he knew I would catch him (yet again) breaking our vows. When he first left, he was kind of detached. He had a flirty (but platonic) woman friend at work that he was getting his needed attention from so although he was a bit overwhelmed with logistics (and I helped him way too much)- he seemed like he was doing ok emotionally. He has since realized that the "friend" from work was actually just "playing" him (his words) and that she not only doesn't ever want a romantic relationship with him, she doesn't want to be his friend either (you just know there's more to this story!). Now he has lost his "narcissist supply" (love that term- thanks DS'ers for sharing it) and so he is pushing HARD to come home. I know he cannot come home. He is too dysfunctional- and although he might be able to pull his act together for a short while- he won't be able to sustain it. I am working hard to move on- but it has been challenging- I still love him and miss him and miss the "dream" I had of our future. My brain is screaming for me to not give him an inch (he is a master manipulator and he knows all of my weak spots)- and I really don't want to back-slide- but it is sooooo frustrating to have remind myself that this man -who I still love and who is professing his love for me again- is really full of crap and is just thinking of himself!!!

Sorry to whine- I am so sad that now I look like the bad guy for having to set limits... he's the one who wrecked our marriage and now he will look like the guy who just wanted to make it work again!!! Please remind me- once a narcissist- always a narcissist, right? It's not like he can really change? UGH!
K