I’m sorry to hear this. Trust is so important. Sounds like your taking the right measures to protect yourself.

Thanks Kenfused.

There has just been one thing after another happening.

A week ago Thursday, he had sex with that woman in our home. He went into cardiac arrest and had a stroke. His memory and cognitive functioning is impaired. He talks about things from 30 years ago. He and I have only been together for 8 years, so he doesn't know me.

I took off last week so I could sit with him in the hospital, file for his FMLA and short term disability. I introduce myself to him as his friend, so I don't upset him.

His brother is petitioning the court for guardianship.

I said my final goodbye to him last Friday, although he had no clue what it meant, I did it for me.

That is a tremendous bunch of info. Then, karma is at play here and you did the right thing to move on. Shocking how it unfolded.

He just signed the propery agreement, called his girl, then 36 minutes later she called 911 on his phone.

I'm at that place where I want the best for him and the worst. This does feel like justice was served. And I hate that I feel that way.

I'm stuck in a really bad Lifetime Movie.

I'm so sorry rainydays that must have been crushing if you need to talk we are here for you

Thank you, Goddesslove. It's all so new... I love him and hate him. I just love me enough to not put up with it anymore.

Rainydays7

Forgive him, forgive yourself, and focus on the love you deserve and your soul and spirit and spend time healing yourself.

Thank you, Memphis. It's a process and I'm working on it. I called around today on some counselors in my area to sort some things out.

I can relate... getting cheated on is one of the worst feelings I had experienced... I felt humiliated, used, lied to and also I felt so insignificant. I spend weeks trying to figure out where I went wrong, trying to understand where I failed... but I am coming to terms that it was not me and something completely out of my control.

I still miss her a lot... and makes me wonder, how can I still miss her after all the damage she has caused me. Same as you, I still wish her the best in life, I do not want to hate her... forgiving is one of the first steps to reaching that internal peace many of us still desire so much.

Best of luck!

Thanks, Mr. G.

It's definitely a confusing time in my life. It will get sorted, just have to keep moving forward and pushing through until I find enjoyment in my days again.

As much as I'd like to, I can't move from loving him to feeling nothing. It takes time and a desire to move forward.

Best of luck for you.

Rainy

Im sorry this happen to you.

Im new here. Hearing your story i can almost relate. Nothing my husband done has been sexual but more just emotional and lying about it. Im struggling to keep trying to fix our relationship. We have gone through so much with eachother. ...but his lies continues ever now and then. I still have not found the strength to leave this 14 years marriage...i hate myself thinking he will grow up and wake up on wont he is going to lose.

Welcome to DS. Everyone here is very friendly and helpful.

What my husband started in July was a flirting, emotional affair and then it escallated.

That's not to say that your husband will do that, but it is possible. I never thought Jeff would do that, but then he did.

Is your husband willing to go to counseling to figure out why he is lying and having an emotional affair? Even though this is my second divorce, I see divorce only as a last resort. I gave him a second chance because people do make mistakes. He chose to throw it away.

It isn't weakness to stay with someone. Sometimes it takes all the strength you have to work through the pain, guilt and suffering to save a marriage. Just make sure you are not the only one doing the work.

We both had child trauma and have gone through self healing individually and have grown a long way. We been doing couple/marriage counseling together for almost 2-3years now with the same person that knows our history well. his repeating actions are linked with his past childhood(parents infidelity,divorce,lies,abandonment). i cant even find myself to hate him or be mad. It just makes me sad he keeps doing it. I do believe smalls lies turns into biggers lies, emotional attachment can turns into sexual it this keeps up...itll be like a couple months of quietness then something comes up n i catch him in his act again. Then all over again comes to the same conversations. My counselor believe ive been doing everything right it him that cant keep himself in check. He is great guy as caring etc but when its to values...im not too sure. .l

Oh, I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to live with a liar and a husband that is insecure and needs external validation from other women.

I got to the point that I needed to get out, because I could not bear going through this again. It's hard. I still want to help him, take care of him, and be there for him. If I do that, it will be detrimental to my health and wellbeing.

I know that you will find the strength to do what's best for you. It seems like you have a good relationship with your counselor.

Hello I am so sorry that you have been through so much...
It sounds very painful and it will take you a while to heal.... when I knew my marriage was over I was severally depressed for two and half years, I didn’t think I would survive it ......
Some kind away you will survive and thrive..... please stay connected with genuine supportive people who want to see you excel through this...